6 months - (The day called the 20th)

It's been 6 months today since my Rob died. 

How is that even possible?

I've thought of almost nothing else today - the fact that it's been half of a year.

I finished cleaning out the boxes and bags in the garage.  Wesley and I took a load of stuff down to the barn at my other house.  We stopped and got my dad a new toothbrush and I bought Wesley a Dr. Pepper and some peppermint patties (he LOVES those things so much that they used to be my bribery for good behavior from him at preschool).  The kids did school (well, Wesley got a little bit of a break since we left at 1 p.m. and he helped me load and unload heavy stuff).  We got home just in time to take Luke to Art and Anna to Chorus and Dance.  I brought Luke home.  I finished sweeping out the garage.  I loaded the trash.  I got Luke's asthma prescription filled.  I took the library books back.  I picked up Anna from her classes.  We got home at 9:30 p.m. 

And through all of that activity, I thought of Rob all day long.  And what I kept thinking about was what I'm thankful for today.  I will still honestly say that if I had the choice and the power to do so, I would bring Rob back in a heartbeat because he could be here with me, help me finish raising our children, live a long life, and THEN go back to heaven.  BUT - since I do not have that choice and that power is not within me - I am thankful, for my beloved Rob, that he was one of the "whosoevers" of John 3:16 - "For God so loved the world that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish but have everlasting life."    I am thankful my Rob is with Jesus.  I am thankful and it gives me joy to think about how much pure happiness and JOY he has experienced in the last 6 months.  I am truly thankful and it gives me joy to think that he is free from his ailments and

he is just simply free - with no burdens. 

And that is what I've thought today - not about me without a husband and not about the children without a father.  What kept coming to mind today was my Rob and what he is experiencing -

and for that, I am thankful.

The following song kept coming to mind as well.  I'm posting a link to it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0xwzItqYmII

The lyrics are:

"I Can Only Imagine"

"I can only imagine what it will be like, when I walk by Your side...
I can only imagine, what my eyes will see, when Your Face is before me!
I can only imagine. I can only imagine.

Surrounded by Your Glory, what will my heart feel?
Will I dance for you, Jesus? Or in awe of You, be still?
Will I stand in Your presence, or to my knees will I fall?
Will I sing 'Hallelujah!'? Will I be able to speak at all?
I can only imagine! I can only imagine!

I can only imagine, when that day comes, when I find myself standing in the Son!
I can only imagine, when all I will do, is forever, forever worship You!
I can only imagine! I can only imagine!

Surrounded by Your Glory, what will my heart feel?

Will I dance for you, Jesus? Or in awe of You, be still?
Will I stand in Your presence, or to my knees will I fall?
Will I sing 'Hallelujah!'? Will I be able to speak at all?
I can only imagine! Yeah! I can only imagine!

Surrounded by Your Glory, what will my heart feel?

Will I dance for you, Jesus? Or in awe of You, be still?
Will I stand in Your presence, or to my knees will I fall?
Will I sing 'Hallelujah!'? Will I be able to speak at all?
I can only imagine! Yeah! I can only imagine!

I can only imagine! Yeah! I can only imagine!! Only imagine!!!
I can only imagine.

I can only imagine, when all I do is forever, forever worship You!
I can only imagine."