Encouragement in the Soundwaves

 THANKFUL - DAY 6 - FEBRUARY 27, 2012

Anna - I'm thankful for my dance teacher, Mrs. Kelly.

Wesley - I'm thankful for having fun.

Luke - I'm thankful for power (he means electricity - the power went off at my parents' house today for about 20 minutes - he & Wesley were there while I took my mom to the doctor). 

Janna - I am thankful for K-Love - the contemporary Christian radio station that we listen to in the car all of the time.  I have my own story about the timing of a certain song played on the radio but today is about Wesley.

Today, my Wesley told me a story while we were on the way home from my parents' house.  He asked me to turn down the radio so I would make sure to hear him - which I thought was intersting b/c I knew he loved the song that was playing.  He then proceeded to tell me that God has used the song that was playing - Stronger by Mandisa - to help him SO MUCH since his dad died.  Halloween was our first event after Rob died.  Our church here always does a Trunk or Treat.  We decorate our trunks, backs of vans, or truck beds and pass out candy to all of the kids who come and there's also a hayride. 

(Oct. 2011)

The kids had all talked about how much they were going to miss their dad at this event b/c he was always so much fun.

(Oct. 2011)

Rob was always like a big kid at Trunk or Treat. 

(Oct. 2009)

On this past Halloween, I had the radio playing while we were decorating the back of the van.  I knew we were all missing Rob that night but I did not know how much one certain boy was hurting.  Wesley told me tonight that he was SO OVERWHELMED with missing his dad at Trunk or Treat and then the song - Stronger - came on the radio.  He said that song is what God used to help encourage him and get him through that night and that now - every single time he hears it - he thinks of his dad and how much  he misses his dad but that he also remembers that God will help him through every moment. 

How I wish that my 11 year old boy did not have to concern himself with having to

"make it through." 

But I am thankful that God is helping him to do just that - even down to a certain song being played at a certain time on a certain night to whisper encouragement to a certain boy through the simple soundwaves of a car radio.  

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

I'm posting a link to the song that someone else posted if you'd like to hear the song.  It worked for me when I clicked it.  Hopefully, it'll work for you.  If not, you can google Stronger by Mandisa.  That's what I did.  

  

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vih1xwxQUIo&feature=player_detailpage

Here are the lyrics:    Lyrics to Stronger :

Hey, heard you were up all night
Thinking about how your world ain't right
And you wonder if things will ever get better
And you're asking why is it always raining on you
When all you want is just a little good news
Instead of standing there stuck out in the weather

Oh, don't hang your head
It's gonna end
God's right there
Even if it's hard to see Him
I promise you that He still cares

When the waves are taking you under
Hold on just a little bit longer
He knows that this is gonna make you stronger, stronger
The pain ain't gonna last forever
And things can only get better
Believe me
This is gonna make you stronger
Gonna make you stronger, stronger, stronger
Believe me, this is gonna make you ...

Try and do the best you can
Hold on and let Him hold your hand
And go on and fall into the arms of Jesus
Oh, lift your head it's gonna end
God's right there
Even when you just can't feel Him
I promise you that He still cares

'Cause if He started this work in your life
He will be faithful to complete it
If only you believe it
He knows how much it hurts
And I'm sure that He's gonna help you get through this

When the waves are taking you under
Hold on just a little bit longer
He knows that this is gonna make you stronger, stronger
The pain ain't gonna last forever
In time it's gonna get better
Believe me
This is gonna make you stronger

The House

Thankful - Day 5 - Feb. 26, 2012

What we are thankful for today: 

Anna - I am thankful for my sister, Crystol.

Wesley - I am thankful for Tae Kwon Do.

Luke - I am thankful that we have a vehicle.

Janna - I am thankful that my children and I will have a place to go come June. 
I am grateful for my house... 

...THE HOUSE (written January 8th, 2012) 

Long ago, my paternal grandparents had a dream.  I wasn’t around for that dream but I am now reaping the benefit of their desire.

Long ago, my Heavenly Father had a dream.  I wasn’t around for that dream but I am now reaping the benefit of His planning.

Long ago, my paternal grandparents wanted a house of their very own.

Long ago, my Heavenly Father knew I would need a house of my very own.

Long ago, my paternal grandparents made a way to build their very own house and I’m sure they delighted in moving into that house - with their very own dreams for the future and what all that the house would hold and foster for what they wanted for their family – and they lived out their lives and their family dreams in their house.

Long ago, my Heavenly Father made a way to plant dreams in my mind and desires in my heart that would start my very own plans for the future and what all those dreams would hold and foster for what I wanted for my family – but my family dreams would start and end in parsonages.

Not too long ago, when my paternal grandparents’ house was transferred from one grandchild to another and the house was moved across the street, none of us knew what the future would hold...

...BUT GOD DID.

(the 2005 notebook that held all of the papers, permits, etc. for the move of the house - notice the Scripture I held onto during that process - Psalm 42:11 - same as now)

Long ago, the Lord knew it had to be done somehow.  Long ago, the Lord saw His provision.  In different ways, the homestead place became a way to provide for one of my paternal grandparents’ sons and two of their grandchildren – one through the original land with a new house and the others through the original house with old family land that was new to them.

It so humbles me to feel and think and know that way back then – when my paternal grandparents dreamed of their very own house that God not only saw their dreams realized of raising their six children in the home and having the house being the provision for them – but that EVEN THEN my God also saw this house as His provision for me when I would need it most – when I was left widowed in a parsonage with young children still at home to finish raising to adulthood.  He saw it as His provision that my children would live in the rooms and walk the halls and run up and down the same stairs that their grandfather, great-aunts, and great-uncles did.  He saw it as His provision for them and for me – EVEN THEN.

I will admit and I can certainly say that I am not delighted to be moving into the house because of my widowhood.  I wish that I could be moving into the house with my husband in our retirement years as we had planned.  But I can still certainly say that knowing I have that house has been a hope and a comfort -  knowing that I have a “homeplace,” and knowing that even long ago God had and now He still does have a plan for my children and for me.  And I know that I, just as my paternal grandparents did, will move into that house with my very own hopes for the future and hopes for all that the house will hold and foster for what I want for my family --- and maybe, just maybe, that will be the beginning of some new dreams that I have yet, in the present, to even muster the strength to imagine.

Dealing With It Daily - Part Two

When we got home from basketball practice Thursday night, Wesley told me that at their devotional time, the question “When was a time that God helped you get through something?”  was asked.  Wesley said his was an easy answer – that God helped him get through his dad dying.  I was proud of him for speaking up – for giving his testimony of how he got through and is still getting through such an awful, tremendous loss.  He then told me how much he still misses his dad – and how he wishes his dad could be seeing him sink the baskets he has made.  I tried to remind him of the times his dad did see him make baskets and of all of the other great times that they did have.

Today, halfway through Wesley’s basketball game, my son came over to tell me something special had happened to him.  He told me that his coach had told them at the beginning of the game that they would play this game in memory of Wesley’s dad and in honor of all the kids’ dads.  Wesley said, “I was blushing when he said we were playing in memory of Dad.” 
But he was beaming with pride as he told me.  His teammates were so supportive. 

One of them even made a special effort after the game to come tell Luke and me that she was sorry about our loss. 

Wesley made some baskets. 

Wesley’s team won the game. 

It was a good day for my son. 

Thank you to a coach who knew to acknowledge Wesley’s tremendous loss in front of his peers – for it was not pity for Wesley but recognition of what has happened to him and knowing that people care that made Wesley feel so special. 


And that matters so much to a boy without a dad.

This raising boys without a father is proving to be hard but I have to trust that God will provide.

And when I go about wishing I could go back in time (and oh, how often I do),

I just have to keep trusting in God’s sovereignty and remember that for today, God provided through a coach’s thoughtfulness...

...and it's up to God to keep providing for the tomorrows.

THANKFUL - DAY 4 - FEB. 25, 2012
Janna - I'm thankful that God is providing for each of my children's needs.
Anna - I'm thankful for my Aunt Sally.
Wesley - I'm thankful that my team played our game today in memory of my dad.
Luke - I'm thankful for my mama. 

Dealing With It Daily

First words out of my Luke's mouth this morning...

"I miss Pops."



And yet again, my heart breaks...





Celebration

Today we met my sister, Joan, in the town where she works and took her out to eat lunch. 

Sunday is her birthday.  We celebrated today. 

Luke drew her a special card - she and I both took pictures of it.

Wesley drew her a card also but I didn't get a picture of the finished product - just him in action.

Anna took over Luke's menu.
(To those who know both - doesn't Anna, with these fake glasses,
look like Wendy in this photo?)

Joan liked her gift.

We had a good time celebrating my sister - even getting a bit silly for the camera.

Happy Early Birthday Joan!


Thankful - Day 3 - Feb. 24, 2012
Janna - I'm thankful we had a great lunch with my sister.
Anna- I'm thankful for Aunt Joan.
Wesley- I'm thankful for friends and family.
Luke - I'm thankful for food, water, and shelter.



 

Thankful - Day Two

Day Two - Feb. 23, 2012

We're all very tired in this house tonight.  Thursdays are such busy days here - Tae Kwon Do, Theatre, & Basketball.  And Wesley jammed his thumb at basketball practice tonight - hope it's just jammed and not broken - it's very swollen.  It's wrapped in ice right now and we'll see what happens...

But we still want to take our time to be thankful.  We've talked about it on and off all day today.  I will go back and edit yesterday's post to include the children's thankfulness but I'll also put it here for those who don't want to go back. 

What the children were thankful for (yesterday - Feb. 22nd) by:

Anna - I am very thankful for my tutor, Mrs. Lisa.

Wesley - I am thankful for medicine - that our country has medicine to heal the sick.

Luke - I am thankful that Papa is having a good time in Heaven.

What we're thankful for today:

Janna - that my daughter (Anna) has such a love for reading.  There were so many times when we were struggling with Anna's dsylexia that I wondered if we would ever get to that place and we've been there for a while - for a couple of years now.  But tonight I saw it all over again when we arrived at Theatre class.  Anna had brought one of her books for her friend to read.  It's part of a series and they've all been trading around the books Anna got for Christmas.  You would have thought that Anna handed this friend some gold by the way she was so happy with the book.  Anna being part of a teenage "book club" scenerio is what I'm thankful for today for 

THAT made me smile and brought me joy.

Anna - I am thankful for my Theatre class.

Wesley - I am thankful for food and water so we won't starve.

Luke - I am thankful for toys.

What are you thankful for?

Lent

Today is the first day of Lent – the 40 days before Easter – representing the 40 days that Jesus was in the wilderness leading up to His crucifixion.  Yesterday my daughter asked me what I was going to give up for Lent.  My gut reaction was “nothing – I think I’ve given up enough since last Easter.”  And even though I know I have every right to feel that way – it really isn’t how I want to feel.  On many days, I still feel like the walking wounded and I feel empty – as if there is just nothing else to give.  On many days, I feel like every ounce of energy is drained from me just from parenting my children.  On many days, I feel like Peter must have felt when he took his eyes off of Jesus and started sinking.  On many days, I have to intentionally – with much effort - purpose my view so that I will keep my eyes on Jesus instead of the gathering waves of grief that threaten to overcome me and pull me under.

So, as I thought last night and all day today as I went about doing what had to be done today (which was a lot and involved me being in 3 different towns), I kept pondering what God might want from me for this particular season of Lent in this particular season of my life – this season of widowhood and single parenthood.  And what I decided was that, for the next 40 days, I’m going to focus my view on what I do have.  And even though I have been doing that since the day Rob died, I’m going to write it down now.  For each of the next 40 days, I’m going to write one thing daily that I am grateful for or one thing that brings me joy (if I have to skip a day of blogging it, I will catch it up).  I’m going to intentionally purpose my view on the goodness in my life so that I will keep my eyes on my blessings instead of my losses. 

As Habakkuk 3: 17-19 says:

"Even though the fig trees have no blossoms,

and there are no grapes on the vines;

even though the olive crop fails,

and the fields lie empty and barren;

even though the flocks die in the fields,

and the cattle barns are empty,

yet I will rejoice in the LORD!

I will be joyful in the God of my salvation!

The Sovereign LORD is my strength!

He will give me the speed of a deer and

bring me safely over the mountains..."

And I plan on involving my children in this as well.  We all need to remember what we do have...

Day One – Feb. 22, 2012

*Edited to add the children's thankfulness: 

Anna - I am thankful for my tutor, Mrs. Lisa.

Wesley - I am thankful that our country has medicine to heal the sick.

Luke - I am thankful that Papa is having a good time in Heaven. 

Janna - First and foremost, I am grateful that I have my Jesus.  I am thankful that I accepted Him as my Savior at an early age.  I am joyful that I have felt like He is my best friend for as long as I can remember.  I am joyful that my love for Jesus and my desire to serve Him has been the foundation for every other aspect of my life – that has served me well.  And I am joyful that this same love that I feel is offered to everyone else who believes. 

And I’m thankful that Rob did believe.    

“For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son (Jesus), that whosoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life.”

John 3: 16