Missy

Missy was my neighbor.

(New Year's Eve/Day 1992-1993)

I cannot remember exactly when her family moved in beside me.

But I know I was a very young adult and she was 10 years younger.

While I lived beside her, I was single, dating, met Rob, 

married him, and moved away to Rob's first church appointment.   

She, of course, grew up during that time.

She was at my house a lot while she was growing up.

(New Year's Eve/Day 1991-1992)

(New Year's Eve 1992-1993)

I don't remember the first time I met her exactly but I do remember the first time she came over to my house.

Her family did not have a phone and she needed to use my phone to order their pizza. 

Our friendship grew.  I have a lot of cousins who are around Missy's age and she fit right in with them.  

In fact, Missy felt like one of my younger cousins to me.

She became family.

And we stayed in touch for a good long while after we moved from beside her 

because, even though we were in a different town, we were still in the same county.

I was there when she became a mother for the first time.  

(January 1997)

I had just had Anna 4 months earlier so she knew that I knew how she felt.  I remember her asking me, while she was in the middle of labor, what else she could do to make it better.  

I wish I could remember what I said.

After the nurse made me leave for a only a little bit, Rob and I sat out in the hallway and 

we heard Zach make his entrance into our world.

I cried.

I really couldn't believe that my little Missy was a mama.

I stopped crying when the door opened and they told me I could come back in.

I was there when they were giving Missy's son oxygen (cannot remember why).

I was there when they weighed Missy's son.

 I was there to meet her firstborn in his first moments on this earth.

 And I was honored that I was there.

Then we moved away - 4 1/2 hours away.

And life and distance took over.

I would only talk to Missy when I would call her on her birthday.

And then we lost touch for a while.

Until I googled her one February day in 2008 so I could call her on her birthday.

We talked a long time that day.  It was good to talk with her!

I meant to save her phone number and call her more often but, again, life and distance took over.

And I lost touch again.

Since I am getting older, I couldn't remember if her birthday is the 25th or the 28th.  So I googled her again on this past Tuesday, the 25th, and called her.  I was early.  TODAY, the 28th, is her birthday!  

But it was great to talk to her and at least I wasn't calling late!

Happy Birthday, Melissa Ann!  

I love you - always have - always will!     

Joan

Happy Birthday to my sister, Joan!

The Early Years…

You holding me.

As far as you getting to be an aunt,

I decided to start you off easy on January 1, 1994 – with an 11 year old!

Thank you for being a great aunt to Crystol –

the first niece to make you an aunt when I married her daddy.

Thank you for being a great aunt to Anna - 1996 - your first newborn niece.

Thank you for being a great aunt to Wesley - 2000 - your first nephew

(I do not have a photo of you holding a newborn Wesley).

Thank you for being a great aunt to Luke (2002).

You were even in the room when he was born into our world.

And these are the photos of your earliest UNC-Chapel Hill influence on my youngest.

As soon as Luke was placed in his hospital crib,

you placed a UNC Tarheel bear in there with him

(that's you in the top left corner of this photo videoing the moment).

Not to be outdone, Rob placed his Duke Blue Devil jacket in there with him too. 

We were all about equal exposure – since Rob didn’t throw out the bear!

Your latest aunt photo with my kids – at Anna’s Winter Concert.

(February 8, 2014)

Thanks for always supporting your nieces and nephews in all they do.

Thank you for coming to:

baby dedications,

dance recitals,

preschool graduations,

college graduations,

church programs,

theatre productions,

birthday parties,

a wedding,

and so many more happy days over the last 20 years.

Thank you for coming to my house when I needed you to keep the kids

on the night Rob became unconscious.

Thank you for getting the kids back and forth to the hospital on the awful

day that followed so your nieces and nephews could say goodbye to their daddy.

Thank you for everything you did in the days afterward for me

and for your nieces and nephews.

Thanks you for being there for their dad’s funeral

and in the days and nights after.

To sum it all up, thanks for caring so much about us

and thank you for being there!

It matters - to them and to me.

We all love you!

Stages

In the caretaking of my 4 children over the last 20 years, 

each new stage on their paths from dependence to independence 

has brought a sense of excitement over the new accomplishment gained 

and each of the stages were and are moments to be celebrated.

~~~~~~~~

In the caretaking of my 2 parents over the last 11 years, 

each new stage on their paths from independence to dependence 

has brought a sense of sadness over the once known ability now lost 

and each of the stages were and are moments to be mourned.

~~~~~~~~~

Love covers both.