Happpy Thanksgiving

Happy Thanksgiving!

My Mother-In-Law

Today is Pat's birthday.

Pat is my Rob's mother.

Pat is my mother-in-law.

Someone asked me not too long ago if I still feel like 

Pat is my mother-in-law since Rob has died.

Which I think is an interesting question.

No one ever asks me if my children still feel like 

my children since their dad died.

Although someone has asked me if I still feel like

Crystol (my stepdaughter) is my daughter since her dad died.

So I get it.

For some folks, when the bonds of matrimony end in death,

the relationships with the in-laws or stepchildren do cease.

But not for me.

I will always feel like Crystol is my daughter...

...because she is.

My feelings for her did not die with her dad.

If anything, they increased.

And I will always feel like Pat is my mother-in-law..

...because she is.

My feelings for her did not die with her son.

And, even if I am blessed enough to remarry

(and I do hope to someday),

Pat will always be my "first" mother-in-law.

So - 

HAPPY BIRTHDAY 

to my MOTHER-IN-LAW!

I hope you have a great day!

Photos are from our Sept. 26-28, 2014 visit to Ohio to 

spend time with Rob's brother (Bryan), my sister-in-law (Jenny), 

my niece and nephew (Cassidy and Carter),

my mother-in-law (Pat),

and my daughter and her husband (Crystol and Alan).

A few out takes of the photo session.  I LOVE Pat's smile in this one!

Like Grandma Pat...

(putting bunny ears on Luke)

...like grandson Wesley! :) 

(putting bunny ears on Alan)

71

Happy Birthdy to my mama.

Mama is 71 today!

Her celebration was spread over 3 days.

Saturday morning with my sister.

Sunday afternoon with my brother and his family.

Today with my family and me.

I was only there for today's celebration

so here are those photos!

She loved her cupcake!

Happy Birthday Mama!

I love you!

Always have!

Always will!

Loved Luke's card he made for his Maw Maw!

Smiles From My Day

When I got home late last night and went over to check on my parents, 

my father told me he had a loose tooth.

He is 73 - the baby teeth are gone.

 : )

So this wasn't good.

The tooth had broken literally into two pieces.

My mom had a bi-annual check-up this afternoon.

My head cold has settled in my chest and I felt horrible.

But since there are no such things as sick days in caretaking,

I got up early to take care of it all.

I've been doing so good only drinking 1 Mt. Dew a day

and water the rest of the day.

Today changed that.

I drank at least 3 Mt. Dews.

I had to have the caffeine.

(I really do wish I liked coffee).

 : ) 

I also took sudafed and tylenol all day long.

And we got it all done!

: )

The oral surgeon's office worked my dad into their schedule!!!

Daddy read all the way there 

and while waiting.

(This office seriously has to be the prettiest waiting room of any doctor office

I've ever been in and I've been in a bunch of them

with my parents, my late husband,

and my children in all of the places we have all lived.

It certainly is the only one I've been in that has a waterfall).

Let me tell you, it's not any easier for me to send a parent back

to have procedures done than it is to send one of my

children back for one. 

Since the tooth had broken away from the root, 

they had to surgically remove the tooth/root.

Daddy, of course, did a great job.

Isn't he so cute in these glasses?

I then brought him home to get him settled.

The bleeding had stopped so I thought it would be 

okay to take my mom to her appointment

(I had thought I might have to cancel).

Luke stayed with my dad while we were gone and 

he was ever so happy that the bleeding had stopped.  

I had taught him how to pack the gauze in 

and he only gagged about it a little bit.

 : )

  

However, Luke was a trooper and would have done it.  

He just sure didn't want to and was thankful he didn't have to! 

(My children have certainly learned a lot about elder care).

Wesley went with me to take my mom because, as Mama has gotten weaker,

it's gotten harder for me, by myself, to get her in and out of the car.

I need Wesley's strength.

Mama's favorite season has always been Fall and she so enjoyed 

seeing the colors of the leaves on the way to the doctor. 

Mama's appointment went well and we took selfies while we were waiting.

I took a few of Wesley too - just because he's handsome!

: )

I asked the doctor for an appointment too.

Turns out I have Bronchitis.

He gave me an antibiotic.

: )

We picked up Daddy's and my prescriptions at the pharmacy.

On the way out, Mama asked me to roll her wheelchair

"down the aisle with the pretty Christmas items."

It was only a moment and it wasn't a trip to the mall

but Mama was excited over Christmas items -

the pretty gift bags and the candy canes.

It was only a moment.

But I'll take it.

It made us both smile!

: )

I Miss My Daddy

There is so much that could be written about taking care of aging parents.

It is so much work.

It is tiring and can make one weary at times.

Aging parents are like children in so many ways.

Except in reverse.

In so many ways, it is so hopeless.

Because with my children, raising them builds to their independence from me.

With my parents, we’re falling to more and more dependence on me.

Even though I’m not finished (my youngest is only 11),

I never once felt like quitting while raising children.

To be honest, I have to constantly CHOOSE to

not quit with my parents.

Because I love them.

Because I want the best for them.

But I miss them.

I miss my mama playing her piano

with the intricacies of classical music flying from her fingers,

with the inspiration of hymns flowing from her fingers,

with the fun of Christmas music dancing from her fingers.

With all of it filling the air and making the house feel alive.

I miss my mama getting excited over the Christmas season

and planning a trip to the nearest mall.

I miss my daddy humming as he washed the dishes.

I miss my daddy rushing around to make everything right

in his world and in his ministries.

I miss my daddy living his life of servanthood so well in his churches

as he would strive to help anyone and everyone who needed it 

and in turn, that servanthood energized him.

I miss watching my daddy who embodied the St. Francis quote,

"Preach the Gospel.

And when necessary, use words."

I miss the “them” my parents once were.

This morning, as my daddy does most mornings now,

he begged me not to make him take his medicine.

“Please don’t make me take it. 

Please don’t make me do this.

No, I can’t do it.

I’ll never get it done.

I’ll never get it all down.

Please don’t make me take it.

Ohhhhh (accompanied by a moan),

 please just leave me alone.”

He then put his head down on the table

(while I continued to get the medicine ready).

When his medicine was ready,

I looked up and decided to snap this photo with my phone.

I’ve always used photos to help me remember how I felt in the moment.

Today, in this moment,

I just miss my daddy.

I honor who he is now

and I work SO HARD to help him

(and my mama)

 have the best quality of life possible in their now

but today, in this moment…

…I just miss my daddy.

But I trudge forward each day with them.

As I spoon fed my daddy his medicine this morning

(mixed in with cinnamon applesauce

- the ONLY way I can get him to take it now),

I calmly reminded him that in all of my growing up years

and in all of his almost 50 years of ministry,

I never heard him once say,

“I can’t do it.”

I reminded him that he ALWAYS did

everything that had to be done.

However he had to do it.

He opened his mouth for the next and last bite

of medicine/applesauce.

I spooned it in.

and said,

“All done, Daddy, all done.

It’s all down.

I told you that you could do it.

You always do whatever has to be done.

Good job taking your medicine, Daddy,

good job!”

I lost my husband to sudden death  

and that was horrible

and tragic

and full of pure agony.

And even though my daddy is still living

and I am with him daily,

I’ve lost my daddy very slowly

over the last 13 years.

And it is horrible

and tragic

and full of pure agony.

I’m not sure which is worse.

Cassidy Jill

Happy 9th Birthday

Cassidy Jill! 

Your Aunt Janna loves you very much!!!!!

Always have!

Always will!