Dear my Rob,
You would be 58 years old today.
Other than the facts that:
I spent the morning at the doctor;
I spent the morning at the doctor;
I have bronchitis and am coughing like crazy
(guess I caught it from my dad - he's been so sick);
(guess I caught it from my dad - he's been so sick);
and that my fever is 100.2 as I type this,
it's been a great day
of celebrating you.
The boys and I picked up Anna at her college
and went out to eat a late lunch.
(I wish we could have driven to Crystol's state and picked her up too).
As we live in our present,
we are ever thankful for the years we had with you.
We wish it could have been more
but since that wasn't to be,
on this,
your birthday,
the 18th of January,
we celebrate the years we were given with you.
We didn't spend a lot of time talking about you today.
We just enjoyed being together on your day.
But you sure would have loved the conversation that was taking place
between your children.
They are such good kids, Rob.
I couldn't ask for any better.
As always, thank you for giving me our children...
...all 4 of them.
...all 4 of them.
Thank you for our family.
As I've done from the beginning,
I found a stranger to give a birthday present to in memory of your birthday.
A $20 bill.
Given to someone who has nothing to do with me personally.
Sometimes I leave a note.
Sometimes I tell the person that it's in memory of my late husband's birthday.
Sometimes I just leave it without any explanation other than,
"This is for you."
Last year, I gave it to a cashier.
This year, I gave it to our waitress at lunch.
She seemed like she needed a boost.
I left a note.
All in all,
it's been a good day...
...even as we missed you.
And, as I was typing this,
our Luke came and showed me the birthday card he made you.
I didn't even know he had made one this year
but I should have known he would.
He always does.
And you would be proud of his "clicking feet" stick man
that looks so much like the ones you drew!
To sum it up,
I'm so thankful you were born 58 years ago today
and that fact is always worth celebrating.
Love,
Janna
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
As always, I will post the previous years' posts for those who like to see the photos.
2016
2014
All in all,
it's been a good day...
...even as we missed you.
And, as I was typing this,
our Luke came and showed me the birthday card he made you.
I didn't even know he had made one this year
but I should have known he would.
He always does.
And you would be proud of his "clicking feet" stick man
that looks so much like the ones you drew!
To sum it up,
I'm so thankful you were born 58 years ago today
and that fact is always worth celebrating.
Love,
Janna
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
As always, I will post the previous years' posts for those who like to see the photos.
2016
Monday, January 18, 2016
Fifty Seven
My Rob would have been 57 today.
Instead, he died at age
52 years,
8 months,
and 2 days.
I’ve started this blog post for his birthday
too many times to count
but just never could get it written because
I never knew quite what to say…
…until now.
Dear My Rob,
Since your last birthday, so much has happened.
So much has happened with our children.
So much has happened with me.
Some good things.
Some not so good things.
Some things I’ve written about.
Some things I haven’t.
But with every single bit of it
came the
DEEP LONGING
to talk with you about it.
For you were my best friend.
The best friend I have ever had.
And THAT is what I’ve missed
the most this past year.
Your friendship.
Not just
A
friendship
but
YOUR
friendship.
Simply put,
no one else has ever
known me
or understood me
or cared about me
the way that you did…
…not before you
and not after you.
I miss that.
So, to end 2016’s birthday post,
I will quote the chorus to a song released
since your last birthday.
(“See You Again” by Charlie Puth / Wiz Khalifa)
“It’s been a long day
without you
my friend.
And I’ll tell you all about it
when I see you again.
We’ve come a long way
from where we began.
Oh, I’ll tell you all about it
when I see you again.
When I see you again.”
Love,
Your Janna
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
2015
Sunday, January 18, 2015
Fifty Six
He would have been 56 today.
This will be the 4th time that we will observe that day without him.
On some days, it still seems impossible that he’s gone.
On some days, it seems so long ago that
he WAS alive
it almost seems that he was only a dream
and was not really truly ever here.
Of course, I know he was.
I remember…
…almost every detail.
And, of course,
I gave birth to 3 of his 4 children
and I see parts of him in all 4 of his children.
So I know he was here.
I know it wasn’t a dream.
But on days like this…
…on what would have been his 56th birthday…
...and while looking through all of the photos of him to post on his day…
(the photos that will never change again because
updating them is now a thing of the past)
…these are the days that it’s hard to believe that I had him for 18 years.
But oh how much I remember when I do look through the photos.
So, for those of you who knew him,
I will post the photos today for you to remember with me.
For those of you who didn’t know him,
well, you missed out.
His children and I were blessed.
He would have been 56 today.
And, even though we are all okay,
we are living life to the best of our abilities in the present,
and we are looking forward to the future,
we
miss
him.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Saturday, January 18, 2014
Fifty Five
My Rob would be 55 YEARS OLD TODAY - if he were still living.
You can read what I wrote about him last year on his birthday here.
As I pass the day called his birthday for the 3rd time without him,
I am ever more grateful for all of the days I did have with him.
As I said to Rob in the letter I wrote to him for his 40th birthday party:
"And mostly, I have been taught in an ever true way that GOD IS FAITHFUL! We have had to rely on HIM for so many things and HE has NEVER disappointed us!
Just as I couldn't have known 5 years ago what trials we would go through nor could I have imagined what growth we would achieve, as individuals and as a couple. I never imagined how truly "one" two people can be. You see, I truly feel that you are a part of me and I a part of you. When I looked at you sleeping just now (and listened to your snoring), all I could think about is what all I would have missed by not having you in my life (okay, so I wouldn't really miss the snoring all that much). I'm so grateful that God allowed our paths to cross! So you see, Robert Edward Shelton, I would have married you sooner because I cannot imagine a better life than the one I have with you and if I could do it over again, I would marry you 6 months
EARLIER!!!!!!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
1959 - 6 months old
Kindergarten
High School - Licking Heights High School, Ohio
Bachelor Degree in Speech Communication - UNC-Greensboro
Master of Divinity - Duke University
For his 40th birthday, I threw him a big party -
inviting all of our families and both of the churches he was serving at the time.
He had a great time!
He even wrote me a fancy thank you note!
I so loved my Rob.
I miss him.
We all do.
But I am so happy, grateful, and blessed that,
for a while (3 months shy of 18 years),
I had the privilege of calling him
my husband
and hearing him call me
his wife.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This is the letter I wrote to my Rob 15 years ago
for his 40th birthday.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
2013
Friday, January 18, 2013
Fifty-Four
He would have been 54 today.
I was married to Rob for 18 of his 52 birthdays. I have photos from every single one of them. And as I've looked at them to decide what to put on the blog, it was great to re-live those moments.
On the pictures from the first birthday I spent with Rob, I noticed the Duke Divinity School video in the background. This was when he was preparing to prove to Duke that he should be accepted and the video was about the process. He was accepted and graduated with lots of gratitude.
18 days into our marriage, this was the first birthday I spent with my Rob. Caleb (my first cousin who had his own room at my house) had made him a cake and colored a coffee cup for him. Rob and I both had to work that day so I bought him a birthday cookie.
Then there was 1999 when I gave him a 40th birthday party and inivited his churches and all of our family and friends. We had almost 200 people there.
There was his 50th (which was on a Sunday). The church he was serving gave him a covered dish party after church.
And then there was the last birthday we spent together before his death. We went to the beach with Jamie, Sally, Jay, Sarah, and Kaylee to celebrate. We had a great time!
And there was SO MUCH LIVING for us in between that first and last birthday.
Birthdays are about celebration of LIFE. That is what I'm trying to do. I am trying my best to celebrate the life our God gave to my Rob. I am working hard to make sure the children know what his life meant to so many people. I am trying to honor the marriage we had and the life we had together while at the same time, I do feel single again. I am celebrating the father he was to his four children and his influence on them while at the same time knowing that I am a single mother.
I do not know what my future holds. But as I've looked through these photos, I know I've had a great past. And although I am not spending my time LIVING in the past, there are still so many days that I'm sad that it IS the PAST. A part of me is gone and I don't think that will ever change. But on most days, I can remember that I enjoyed many wonderful seasons of life with my Rob and I can smile.
For all of those seasons and for all of those memories, I will always be grateful and I will forever feel blessed.
And now today, on what would have been his 54th birthday, I can smile as I know he is spending his second birthday with Jesus. There's just no thing better that I could wish for him.
On the pictures from the first birthday I spent with Rob, I noticed the Duke Divinity School video in the background. This was when he was preparing to prove to Duke that he should be accepted and the video was about the process. He was accepted and graduated with lots of gratitude.
18 days into our marriage, this was the first birthday I spent with my Rob. Caleb (my first cousin who had his own room at my house) had made him a cake and colored a coffee cup for him. Rob and I both had to work that day so I bought him a birthday cookie.
Then there was 1999 when I gave him a 40th birthday party and inivited his churches and all of our family and friends. We had almost 200 people there.
There was his 50th (which was on a Sunday). The church he was serving gave him a covered dish party after church.
And then there was the last birthday we spent together before his death. We went to the beach with Jamie, Sally, Jay, Sarah, and Kaylee to celebrate. We had a great time!
And there was SO MUCH LIVING for us in between that first and last birthday.
Birthdays are about celebration of LIFE. That is what I'm trying to do. I am trying my best to celebrate the life our God gave to my Rob. I am working hard to make sure the children know what his life meant to so many people. I am trying to honor the marriage we had and the life we had together while at the same time, I do feel single again. I am celebrating the father he was to his four children and his influence on them while at the same time knowing that I am a single mother.
I do not know what my future holds. But as I've looked through these photos, I know I've had a great past. And although I am not spending my time LIVING in the past, there are still so many days that I'm sad that it IS the PAST. A part of me is gone and I don't think that will ever change. But on most days, I can remember that I enjoyed many wonderful seasons of life with my Rob and I can smile.
For all of those seasons and for all of those memories, I will always be grateful and I will forever feel blessed.
And now today, on what would have been his 54th birthday, I can smile as I know he is spending his second birthday with Jesus. There's just no thing better that I could wish for him.
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