It Seemed Like A Good Idea At The Time

It seemed like a good idea at the time.

New Year’s Day 1994 was a Saturday.

Rob would have Crystol on that day.

And we sure didn’t want to wait another 6 months until summer vacation to get married.

So New Year’s Day 1994 was set to be our wedding day.

It made perfect sense…

…THEN.

But NOW…

…I would love to change it.

I wish our anniversary was just on a normal date.

Not a holiday that everyone observes and comes with

“Happy New Year” spoken all around.

Not a holiday that starts with the kiss that I no longer get –

the traditional midnight New Year's kiss that was also my anniversary kiss as well. 

And then the kiss was always followed by "Happy Anniversary" wishes from our children and other guests that were always at our house and a midnight phone call from Crystol (if she was not with us) to wish us "Happy Anniversary."

Even though it does not hurt like it did (thank God), this coming January 1^st, 2014 anniversary seems to be bothering me so much more than last year’s anniversary and maybe even more than the first anniversary after he died.

I suppose it’s because it would be our 20^th. 

We had excitedly, for years, talked about how we would mark that milestone. 

We were going to take a cruise

or go back to Disneyworld

or go to the beach

or rent a cabin in the mountains

but at the very least, he had planned to take 2 straight weeks off of work

(never in his 17 years of ministry did he take 2 straight weeks - 2 Sundays in a row - 

of vacation time).

Of course, when we made our plans, we didn’t know

he would die 3 ½ months shy of our 18^th.

So, here I am, 3 days before what would have been our 20^th wedding anniversary

bracing myself to observe our anniversary for the 3^rd time

SO VERY ALONE.

Merry Christmas

Christmas 2013...with all of my children.

Kendra and Nathan - At The Beginning

Kendra (my first cousin) got married today.

Kendra married Nathan.

It was a special day.

God's Provision For Wesley - And For Me

For the last couple of months, Wesley has been asking me to find a way for him to get to go hunting.  It's something he's been wanting to try.  

On Sunday afternoon, December 15, 2013, Tony took him out to learn how to shoot a gun.

Tony taught him all of the "rules" and safety of shooting.

And after shooting along with Tony first, Wesley then shot the gun for the first time by himself.

Wesley LOVED it!

Look at this face - right after his first shot.

After a few more shots, they then climbed into the deer stand

and learned the safety issues with that.

Wesley shot some more practice shots.

He has great aim.

So we know he likes to shoot.

We'll see if he likes to hunt.

Wesley learned a lot on Sunday afternoon...

...but we were both given a gift.

Having fatherless children is so difficult.

It's worse than being widowed.

On Sunday afternoon, Wesley was given the gift of learning how to shoot a gun.

I was given the gift of watching my son being mentored...

...something I've missed watching since his father died.

I was given the gift of knowing that someone is willing and wants to take his time to teach a beginner even though it means he will get less personal hunting time.

I was given the gift of knowing that someone cares.

Thank you, Tony.

Thank you.

Sunday Morning Singing

Last Sunday, December 15, 2013 was the Sunday that our church's youth choir 

sang during the worship service.

They sang a Christmas cantata.

It was Wesley's first cantata - in fact, it was his first time singing in church with the youth choir.

(However, all of my children have plenty of experience with children's choirs at many churches).

Anna sang a solo.

She sang "O Holy Night."

It was beautiful.

She got a standing ovation. 

When my son-in-law gets here for Christmas, I'll have him teach me how to load the video of her solo.

My mama and daddy were there.

Aunt Joan and Uncle Scot were there too but since they had to leave early, I did not get a photo of them.

I was - and am - so proud of my children!

It was a good morning for my babies - and they will always be my babies - no matter how old they get!

Friends- Chloe and Cayley...

And Luke's little buddy, Maddox, just because he's so cute!