A Cold, Rainy Day

Today has been a cold, rainy day.

But it has been a good day.

Church, a soup and sandwich lunch afterward, and Christmas decorating.

I have thought of Rob so many times over the day especially as the Christmas ornaments came out of the box and the bows went on the tree (the bows we have used on our tree for 20 years now are the same bows we used on the Christmas tree at our wedding reception).  All of those thoughts I had of him over the day and into the evening were all thoughts accompanied by smiles – smiles of remembering good times with my Rob.

I then got a call from my parents.  They needed me to come over there (our houses are literally 30 feet apart).  I was dressed in shorts because I had been working in the house and had gotten warm.  I didn’t take the time to change before going over to my parents’ house so I stepped outside in shorts into the rain.

It was when the rain hit my legs that I remembered…

…and although I did not have the time at the moment to cry,

I did cry as soon as I got back to my house.

You see, when the rain hit my legs, it reminded me again that my 20^th wedding anniversary would be coming up on January 1^st and that made me sad. 

It made me miss him again

(not that I’ve really ever stopped missing him –

I’m just at a different place with it now than before).

 When Rob and I married in 1994, it was in style to wear corduroy shorts with tights.  That’s what I wore leaving my wedding to start my life with my Rob.

And for those of you who were not there – IT WAS RAINING – no, it was POURING at our wedding.

And that rain on my legs was cold.

But we didn’t care.

We were so happy that we were married.

It didn't even matter.

And now, even though I really am okay and am moving on in my life, all it takes

to remind me once again of

the love that I had 

and the love that I have lost 

 is a little cold rain on my legs.