Lent

Today is the first day of Lent – the 40 days before Easter – representing the 40 days that Jesus was in the wilderness leading up to His crucifixion.  Yesterday my daughter asked me what I was going to give up for Lent.  My gut reaction was “nothing – I think I’ve given up enough since last Easter.”  And even though I know I have every right to feel that way – it really isn’t how I want to feel.  On many days, I still feel like the walking wounded and I feel empty – as if there is just nothing else to give.  On many days, I feel like every ounce of energy is drained from me just from parenting my children.  On many days, I feel like Peter must have felt when he took his eyes off of Jesus and started sinking.  On many days, I have to intentionally – with much effort - purpose my view so that I will keep my eyes on Jesus instead of the gathering waves of grief that threaten to overcome me and pull me under.

So, as I thought last night and all day today as I went about doing what had to be done today (which was a lot and involved me being in 3 different towns), I kept pondering what God might want from me for this particular season of Lent in this particular season of my life – this season of widowhood and single parenthood.  And what I decided was that, for the next 40 days, I’m going to focus my view on what I do have.  And even though I have been doing that since the day Rob died, I’m going to write it down now.  For each of the next 40 days, I’m going to write one thing daily that I am grateful for or one thing that brings me joy (if I have to skip a day of blogging it, I will catch it up).  I’m going to intentionally purpose my view on the goodness in my life so that I will keep my eyes on my blessings instead of my losses. 

As Habakkuk 3: 17-19 says:

"Even though the fig trees have no blossoms,

and there are no grapes on the vines;

even though the olive crop fails,

and the fields lie empty and barren;

even though the flocks die in the fields,

and the cattle barns are empty,

yet I will rejoice in the LORD!

I will be joyful in the God of my salvation!

The Sovereign LORD is my strength!

He will give me the speed of a deer and

bring me safely over the mountains..."

And I plan on involving my children in this as well.  We all need to remember what we do have...

Day One – Feb. 22, 2012

*Edited to add the children's thankfulness: 

Anna - I am thankful for my tutor, Mrs. Lisa.

Wesley - I am thankful that our country has medicine to heal the sick.

Luke - I am thankful that Papa is having a good time in Heaven. 

Janna - First and foremost, I am grateful that I have my Jesus.  I am thankful that I accepted Him as my Savior at an early age.  I am joyful that I have felt like He is my best friend for as long as I can remember.  I am joyful that my love for Jesus and my desire to serve Him has been the foundation for every other aspect of my life – that has served me well.  And I am joyful that this same love that I feel is offered to everyone else who believes. 

And I’m thankful that Rob did believe.    

“For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son (Jesus), that whosoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life.”

John 3: 16