Dear my Rob,
You would be turning
63 years old today
if you were still
living.
I sent your mom
flowers like I do every year on your birthday.
If she had not given
birth to you,
I would have never
had you in my life.
I will always honor
her for that
and I will always be
thankful that you were born.
We celebrated your
birth a couple of different times this year.
Since Anna had to
teach school today, she came home this past weekend.
I cooked a special supper
and made a cheesecake.
We put a candle in
the cheesecake
and sang happy
birthday to you.
A single candle in a
piece of dessert has
been a tradition for
your birthday since
the very first one we
crossed without you in January 2012.
Hard to believe today
is the 11th time.
The second time we
celebrated your birthday this year was today.
On what would have
been your birthday.
I needed to drive
Luke to his college classes this morning.
He wore your shirt to
class and he wore your shoes.
A way to be close to
you on your birthday.
When I was watching
him walk in, I snapped this photo of him…
…which reminded me of
this photo of you.
After class, we picked up a late lunch to bring home.
Steak was your
favorite food so that’s what I always enjoy on your birthday.
And I knew we would
have more of the cheesecake for dessert.
Wesley’s classes were
canceled today due to weather so he was at home.
When Luke and I
walked in the house, Wesley was playing your guitar.
A way to be close to
you on your birthday.
Over the last week, I
have talked with all of our children
about your
birthday…about you.
Their grief stories
are their stories to tell but
you would be proud of
them all. They have
each processed your
death so differently
but they have all
grown so much
in so many ways.
When you were here,
you loved them big.
And that is what is
most evident when I talk to them about you.
The love.
The love you had for
them.
The love they had and
still have for you.
They love you big.
And they miss you
big.
As Wesley said,
“I know my dad wasn’t
perfect but there wasn’t a day that went by
that I didn’t know he
cared about me
and that’s about as
close to perfection in a parent that you can get.
I’m just glad I had
him as long as I did.”
I will end this as I
have for many of your birthday posts.
I will always be thankful
that you loved me as
long as you could
and that our love
gave me our children,
Crystol, Anna,
Wesley, and Luke.
They are my joy!
Thank you!
With love,
Your Janna
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
For those who might want to read what I've written before on Rob's birthdays
or if you want to see the many, many photos from his birthdays or just from life,
here are a couple of links.
https://jannasview.blogspot.com/2021/01/62.html
https://jannasview.blogspot.com/2019/01/60.html
