63

 

Dear my Rob,

 

You would be turning 63 years old today

if you were still living.

 

I sent your mom flowers like I do every year on your birthday.

If she had not given birth to you,

I would have never had you in my life.

I will always honor her for that

and I will always be thankful that you were born.

 

We celebrated your birth a couple of different times this year.

 

Since Anna had to teach school today, she came home this past weekend.

I cooked a special supper and made a cheesecake.

 

We put a candle in the cheesecake

and sang happy birthday to you.

 

A single candle in a piece of dessert has

been a tradition for your birthday since

the very first one we crossed without you in January 2012.

Hard to believe today is the 11^th time.

 

The second time we celebrated your birthday this year was today.

On what would have been your birthday.

 

I needed to drive Luke to his college classes this morning.

He wore your shirt to class and he wore your shoes.

A way to be close to you on your birthday.

 

When I was watching him walk in, I snapped this photo of him…

 

…which reminded me of this photo of you.

 

 

After class, we picked up a late lunch to bring home.

Steak was your favorite food so that’s what I always enjoy on your birthday.

And I knew we would have more of the cheesecake for dessert.

 

Wesley’s classes were canceled today due to weather so he was at home.

When Luke and I walked in the house, Wesley was playing your guitar.

A way to be close to you on your birthday.

 

 

Over the last week, I have talked with all of our children

about your birthday…about you.

 

Their grief stories are their stories to tell but

you would be proud of them all. They have

each processed your death so differently

but they have all grown so much

in so many ways.

 

When you were here, you loved them big.

And that is what is most evident when I talk to them about you.

 

The love.

 

The love you had for them.

The love they had and still have for you.

 

They love you big.

 

And they miss you big.

 

As Wesley said,

“I know my dad wasn’t perfect but there wasn’t a day that went by

that I didn’t know he cared about me

and that’s about as close to perfection in a parent that you can get.

I’m just glad I had him as long as I did.”

 

I will end this as I have for many of your birthday posts.

 

I will always be thankful

that you loved me as long as you could

and that our love gave me our children,

Crystol, Anna, Wesley, and Luke.

They are my joy!

Thank you!

 

With love,

Your Janna

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

For those who might want to read what I've written before on Rob's birthdays

or if you want to see the many, many photos from his birthdays or just from life,

here are a couple of links.

https://jannasview.blogspot.com/2021/01/62.html

https://jannasview.blogspot.com/2019/01/60.html