Sometimes Still

Very, very, very, very, very

rarely

does it take me by

surprise

anymore

that 

he's

dead

but just now,

while cleaning off my hutch,

I came across this.

It took my breath for a moment.

And it made me cry.

It's the bag of photos that I carried around for 

what seemed like forever after Rob died.

It was a small microcosm 

of the world 

I had lost

carried in the reality

of Rob's funeral home

photo keepsake.

It held family photos,

the wallet photos Rob carried in his wallet

(including my wedding portrait photo that he had carried for our entire marriage),

and the memory verses that he was working on 

with a note written to himself to ask the church treasurer 

about something he wanted to order.

The reason I carried it then was twofold.

It helped me face reality

every 

single 

time

I

saw 

it...

...and it helped me remember.

It did the same today.