Today marks 22 years since my late husband asked me to marry him.
Today marks 22 years since I said yes.
Today marks 22 years since I knew
that I knew
that I knew
that WONDERFUL change
was on its way.
Today marks 22 years since we set the wedding date
(yes, we figured it out that fast).
Today will bring the memories
and I will smile
and I will be thankful.
And I will remember what it felt like
to know that,
on that day,
my Rob made it officially clear
that he wanted me
for the rest of his life.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
For those of you who are new to my blog and are new in this process,
I will post what I wrote for the last 3 years on this date.
Written on Thursday, June 21, 2012
Written on Friday, June 21, 2013
20 Years - June 21, 2013
20 years ago, he asked me to marry him.
20 years ago, I said yes.
It is so hard to believe that was 2 decades ago.
It is sometimes still so hard to believe that he's not here to celebrate all of our "20th's."
It also occurred to me that this week, since I became Crystol's full time caregiver for the summer of 1993 while both of her parents worked, marks 20 years since I first became a "parent." That was the first time I made a choice between working and staying with my children. I gave up a paid internship that summer to be her caretaker. I knew it was the right thing to do. I was right. Developing and fostering my relationship with my just turned 11-year old future stepdaughter was so much more valuable than any money or any other experience I would have garnered from that internship.
So as of this week, I have parented children, from newborns to age 31 - with all of the joys and trials that all of those ages bring, for 20 years - 2 decades.
No wonder I'm tired.
And thank God I have been and am so blessed!
Written on Saturday, June 21, 2014
21 Years Ago Today
21 years ago today
he asked me to marry him.
21 years ago today
I knew God had sent me my man.
21 years ago today
I knew God had sent me my family.
21 years.
Hard to believe.
And even harder to believe it's the 3rd year I've passed the day without him.
I wrote a blog entry last night for today but then decided not to post it.
But today, my Crystol texted me and said,
"Very thankful for the day my dad asked you to marry him. : )"
She also said,
"I almost didn't say anything because I didn't want you to think
about it if you weren't already but I took a chance."
I was so glad she remembered.
Without him to remember with, sometimes it almost feels as if it never really happened.
And after thanking her for mentioning and remembering the day that happened
not long after she had turned 11,
I also told her that I will never NOT think about it.
I'm a date person
I remember dates.
And that day is going to always be in my mind.
Even if it's not spoken of out loud.
So for her to remember too was special.
When I think of that day, I smile.
When I think of that day, I miss him, but I mostly remember the great day I had with Crystol and him.
When I think of that day, I remember the "feelings" of the day,
even before he asked me to marry him.
When I think of that day, I remember how purely happy we all were just being together
and I smile.
I asked Crystol what she remembered about that evening and the morning after when we told her he had proposed and I had said yes.
She said she remembers the same things I do:
"sitting on the beach together,
sitting in the hammock (which, by the way, is where he proposed after Crystol had gone to bed),
and just the feeling. I was happy."
We all were.
And, just as Crystol said,
I am thankful for the day, 21 years ago, that her dad asked me to marry him.
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