What I Know For Sure

Thursday, May 7, 2015

What I know for sure is that God is with us.

What I know for sure is that God will never forsake us or leave us.

What I know for sure is that, in every single change, He is with me.

Whether that change was when I, as a child, was moving to a new place with my parents.

Whether that change was when I fell in love, got married, and had our children.

Whether that change was when I, as a preacher’s wife, was leaving pastorates and arriving at new ones with my late husband.

Whether that change was when I watched our oldest daughter, Crystol, move to another state to be close to the man she loved.

Whether that change was when I spent the day watching my late husband die.

Whether that change was when I moved my children out of the parsonage away from everything they knew and loved.

Whether that change was moving to a new church where their dad was not the preacher and no one had even known my late husband.  My son told me that it seemed that since no one had known or remembered his dad that it was almost like his dad had never existed.

Whether that change was watching my Anna graduate and start college

and tomorrow is already her last day of her freshman year.

(I am so proud)!

Whether that change was every time, over the last 12 years, the caretaking of my parents increased again.

What I know for sure is that God has been with me in every change

and He will be with me for all future changes as well.

What I know for sure is that, even when I feel alone at times,

I AM NOT.

God proved that today.

Yet again.

My mom fell this morning.

She broke and dislocated her ankle.

She was in a lot of pain.

The doctor had to fix the dislocation.

She was very brave.

I was very proud.

Then she had to have surgery.

A metal plate and metal screw.

She was very brave.

I was very proud.

I am home now.

To try and rest.

My sister is with her.

I will go back in the morning to meet with the social workers about the future.

She will spend the next few weeks (probably 6 – 8) in skilled nursing rehab.

After that, well, we will see what the future brings.

But what I know for sure tonight is that change is here again.

What I know for sure right now is that my mama is not in the house beside me.

What I know for sure right now is that I miss her being there.

And, even though I knew this particular change would come and some preparations had already been made for when it would arrive, it still does not make it any easier.

It just feels like another loss.

Because it is.

But what I know for sure is that God is with us.

He was with my very brave mother today.

He was with the doctors and the nurses.

He made His presence known in so many ways.

From someone telling me they had spent time in a chapel praying for us

to someone finding a way to get in touch with me just to encourage me

to the folks who came to wait with me

to all of the Facebook messages sent by so many people
to the phone call with a friend

to all of those who were there in so many ways.

All of which warmed my heart.

And hers.

What I know for sure is that God was there today every time I needed Him.

What I know for sure is that His timing was perfect.

In all ways.

It was very sad to watch my dad kiss his wife goodbye this morning as she was being loaded into the ambulance and hear him say, “I’ll see you soon” when I knew that I knew that I knew she would not be coming back home with me for a long time, if at all.

The longest they have ever been apart is 12 days when my dad was

blessed with a trip to Israel.

They are so sad to not be together.

Another change that I cannot help right now

and one I’m familiar with.

But God’s grace is there and will be there.

For them and for me.

Because…

What I know for sure is that God is with us.