On October 23, 1989 – 23 years ago – my grandfather died.
(My Grandpa Caviness and my cousin, Chris)
I was 21 years old. I sang the song, "Consider The Lillies," at his funeral.
These are the notes my Grandma Caviness sent me after the funeral.
Before his October 23rd death, my Grandpa Caviness had been in the hospital since August 31, 1989. He was hooked up to a ventilator. Although I was working an 8:30-5:30 full-time job in a different town from where I lived at the time and a different town from where he was hospitalized, I visited him often during those almost 2 months. I crocheted a baby blanket for my yet-to-be-born cousin, Caleb, during the time spent in the ICU waiting room while I was waiting my turn to go in to see Grandpa.
It has been 23 years and I distinctly remember the sound of the machine that breathed for him. It has been 23 years and I distinctly remember the look on my Grandma Caviness’ face when she looked down at her husband in that hospital bed. It has been 23 years and I distinctly remember the feeling in my heart when my Uncle Raymond asked Grandpa if he knew where his granddaughter, Janna, was in the room. Grandpa Caviness, in answer, turned his head as much as he could and pointed at me where I was standing on the other side of the room from where Raymond was. I was elated. Even with all that was going on, he still knew me. I had been recognized. The fact that he knew where I was in the room, in that instant – in that moment, validated my very existence. And, for a moment, it gave me some hope for his recovery.
(My Grandpa Caviness and my cousin, Chris)
I was 21 years old. I sang the song, "Consider The Lillies," at his funeral.
These are the notes my Grandma Caviness sent me after the funeral.
Before his October 23rd death, my Grandpa Caviness had been in the hospital since August 31, 1989. He was hooked up to a ventilator. Although I was working an 8:30-5:30 full-time job in a different town from where I lived at the time and a different town from where he was hospitalized, I visited him often during those almost 2 months. I crocheted a baby blanket for my yet-to-be-born cousin, Caleb, during the time spent in the ICU waiting room while I was waiting my turn to go in to see Grandpa.
It has been 23 years and I distinctly remember the sound of the machine that breathed for him. It has been 23 years and I distinctly remember the look on my Grandma Caviness’ face when she looked down at her husband in that hospital bed. It has been 23 years and I distinctly remember the feeling in my heart when my Uncle Raymond asked Grandpa if he knew where his granddaughter, Janna, was in the room. Grandpa Caviness, in answer, turned his head as much as he could and pointed at me where I was standing on the other side of the room from where Raymond was. I was elated. Even with all that was going on, he still knew me. I had been recognized. The fact that he knew where I was in the room, in that instant – in that moment, validated my very existence. And, for a moment, it gave me some hope for his recovery.
I now live in the house that was Grandpa Caviness’ home. He and my great-grandfather built this house
for his life with his new wife – my Grandma Caviness (click The House to see that post). There are
times that the memories of him in and around this house are so strong that it feels as if
he is here (and the same is true for memories
of my Grandma Caviness as well). I
can just never get “his” corner of the living room to look exactly like I want
it. Maybe it’s because I still see him in
that corner sitting in his chair reading the newspaper, playing solitaire, smoking his cigarette, or watching t.v.
I also have great memories of him outside – “helping” him drive the tractor, walking the chicken houses, moving hay around, swimming in his pond – especially the time he shot and killed the snake that was swimming with us in that pond, going to town with Grandma and Grandpa Caviness to get school supplies each summer, going to Brown’s store to get a soda. I even remember one time when he took me out of church to spank me – I do NOT remember what I did but I’m sure I didn’t do it again.
I also have great memories of him outside – “helping” him drive the tractor, walking the chicken houses, moving hay around, swimming in his pond – especially the time he shot and killed the snake that was swimming with us in that pond, going to town with Grandma and Grandpa Caviness to get school supplies each summer, going to Brown’s store to get a soda. I even remember one time when he took me out of church to spank me – I do NOT remember what I did but I’m sure I didn’t do it again.
(My Grandpa Caviness and my cousin, Katie)
(My Grandpa Caviness and my cousin, Rebecca)
These are the photos I have from Grandpa's 75th birthday party at his house. September 1988.
It has been 23 years since my Grandpa Caviness died. Over half of my life.
(My Grandpa Caviness and my cousin, Rebecca)
These are the photos I have from Grandpa's 75th birthday party at his house. September 1988.
And I still miss him so much.
2 comments:
This is so great. Thanks for sharing. I love the pictures. You are such a good writer!
I enjoy reading your blog posts, Janna! I feel like I am getting to know your beautiful children and watch them grow. I have grieved with you over your losses and challenges. I feel like I have a deeper understanding of who you are. You are an amazing person!
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