Janna's View: Ministry Life Cycle

Thursday, June 14, 2012

Ministry Life Cycle

For me, it now feels as if Rob's ministry life cycle is complete

and the ministry we had together is officially over forever.

We are no longer residents of a parsonage

and the last official service involving anything to do with my husband was today.

Today, at this year's Annual Conference, was the Memorial Service for all clergy who have died since last Annual Conference.

My father went with us. My sister, brother-in-law, and my aunt met us there.

It took us a while to get anywhere because my father is popular and he kept being greeted by his friends. My father was SO HAPPY to get to be at Conference and see his friends.

As I walked in the convention center, the first thing I noticed was the Cokesbury book store arrow on the carpet. It made me smile as I thought about how Rob would always come home from conference having spent WAY MORE than we could afford on books but always making sure that I knew my dad had paid for part of them.

During the service, my dad took notes.

My son, Luke, did this during the service.

I wrote him a note saying "I love you." He added a 2 that changed it to this. It made me smile.

I was fine until the processional started. I turned around to see the cross and staff being carried in (the staff was carried by my second cousin, David - who is also a UM minister).

As I turned to see them walk in - it was if all of the processionals Rob had been a part of flashed unbidden before my eyes -

his license to preach processional in the Western Conference

his local pastor processional in our Conference

his commissioning processional

and his processional when he was ordained Elder

I was there for all of them - even the time when I was still in the severe nausea stage of my pregnancy with Luke

I was there - watching and supporting my husband as he publicly went through all of the steps of ordained ministry in the United Methodist Church

And today, I was there in an unimaginable and extremely painful role - standing beside his children

as his widow

still supporting the last official act involving his ministry.

As his name was called, a candle was lit in his memory.

I am still getting notes and letters about how my late husband's ministry touched people's lives and I expect that God will continue to use the good that my husband did. But for me, the moment that candle was lit completed my late husband's ministry cycle. And it was so sad.

After the service and the luncheon, the boys enjoyed the escalators.