It's so hard to believe that this little is now
old enough for high school graduation announcements.
old enough for high school graduation announcements.
Wednesday, April 28, 2021
Wednesday, April 21, 2021
Saturday, April 17, 2021
Queen or Commoner - Grief is the same
Whether you are a queen
or a commoner,
or a commoner,
it is so hard to lose your person.
I just watched the Queen of England
take her first public steps alone
as she enters the church
for her husband’s funeral
and my heart just breaks for her.
Unfortunately, she has,
in the past few days,
started to learn
how hard it is to be a widow.
It’s so hard to bury your husband
and the aloneness can be overwhelming,
especially at first.
I will be offering prayers for her
right now during the funeral
and in the coming days.
Friday, April 16, 2021
28 Years - April 16th
28 years ago tonight,
I was on my first date with my Rob.
I was on my first date with my Rob.
Today,
I spent the day with my boys.
We had to drive 2 hours from where we live
to get Wesley's driver's license renewed.
It was the closest place that we could get an
appointment before his license expires.
And then,
28 years to the day
after I was having my first date with Rob,
we went to a high school graduation meeting
for our youngest child.
Luke received our allotment
of admission tickets to his graduation.
It's been a good day
and we accomplished all we set out to do.
The memories of that day 28 years ago
with my Rob traveled with us today.
And they brought many smiles
as I remembered.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
What I've written in years past:
Saturday, April 16, 2016
April 16th
Today is one of "our" dates...
Rob's and mine...
One that I will always remember...
No matter how much time passes by...
And even if I've moved forward...
I will never forget the magic of our first date...
23 years ago today.
Looking back over my blog, I have only written about this day twice -
- last year and in 2012.
It is affirming to read both posts and notice the growth and healing that took place
between 2012 and 2015
and even on to today in 2016.
But I will never forget the anticipation of my first date with my Rob.
I will never forget the excitement of being in his presence for so many hours.
I will never forget the sweetness of the evening.
I will always be thankful.
And I will always know
that I was and am blessed.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
What follows is what I wrote in 2015 and in 2012:
Written on Thursday, April 16, 2015
4-16-15
22 years ago right now, I was on my first date with my Rob.
22 years ago tonight, we had dinner at our mutual friends’ house.
22 years ago tonight, he walked in the door with photos of Crystol and, after saying hello, proceeded to “introduce” me to his daughter and tell me all about her.
He made it clear from the beginning that she was his world.
22 years ago tonight, we played Pictionary with our friends after dinner.
22 years ago tonight, after the dinner and the game,
our friends had to get their children to bed
so we said our goodbyes
and walked out of their house.
Not wanting to end the evening,
but since it was 11 p.m.,
we got into my car to talk.
We talked in our friends’ driveway until 3:45 a.m.
If you know me at all,
I’m sure you’re not surprised
that we could talk that late into the night.
However, if you knew Rob at all,
you’d be surprised that
it was Rob that did almost all of the talking.
22 years ago tonight, he told me he was called to the ministry.
He said he had no idea how he was going to make it happen
but that he was bound and determined to see it through.
(He later said he told me then so I would have a chance to run if I wanted to).
22 years ago tonight, he told me his life story, at least the outline of it.
I listened intently and hung on his every word.
22 years ago tonight, I waited for him to kiss me.
It didn’t happen.
I was disappointed.
But it certainly made it more special
when he did
FINALLY
kiss me when we were on our third date.
22 years ago tonight, I started falling in love
with the man I would marry 8 months later.
It was a wonderful night.
One that we ended in prayer –
with Rob asking God to guide us
in this relationship and show us how to proceed.
He did ask if he could hold my hand while we were praying.
Of course I said yes.
And after he finished praying, he didn’t let go of my hand.
He told me later that he kept trying to think of more things to say
just so he could keep holding my hand.
We talked for another hour.
Today was a long day
(which I may or may not write about later)
with it starting with me signing my name or initials and
today’s date at least 20 times.
So, over and over again this morning,
I had to write 4-16-15.
Only twice did I write 4-16-93.
And I didn’t shed a single tear
even though every single time I wrote the date,
a gentle little stab of pain coursed through my veins.
Although it was MUCH better than it
has been in previous years,
it’s still there.
The reality that it’s over rarely hits me hard anymore.
But the memory of the magic of that night
is one that is still so very bittersweet.
Since I can no longer celebrate that date with Rob,
I celebrated it with our sons.
I celebrated it with our sons.
Although they had no idea that’s why we went.
I will always remember all of our “times” and “dates”
and will probably continue to write about them
so that the ones I know are reading my blog
(especially one I talked with tonight)
can be encouraged that, as time goes by,
you will learn to live in the “simultaneous” world
of remembering the great times
(and sometimes maybe even falling apart at those memories)
but also living in your “now”
and going forward.
For me, I no longer feel the need to outwardly
make everything about what was.
Because my life is no longer in what was.
It is in what is.
My sons and I had a great time.
We went to a local place they had never been to before.
(Anna was at her college classes).
It’s a place that’s only open for lunch
and because of homeschooling
and caretaking of my parents
lunch has always been a hard time to get away.
But we made it today.
The food was delicious.
And the company was great!
Even if I did have to tell my boys to stop kicking each other a couple of times!
And I am thankful that,
up until the very end,
God answered Rob's prayer that he prayed
on the night of our very first date.
God guided us up until the very end.
And He is still showing me how to proceed -
as the caretaker of our children,
and as the caretaker of my Rob's memory.
I am blessed.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Monday, April 5, 2021
4 years
My daddy,
Rev. James W. Caviness, Jr.
died 4 years ago today.
Even when I outgrew him in height,
I never stopped looking up to him.
He was the best man ever
and I miss him.
I’ve never known anyone
who embodied
John Wesley’s Rule
more than my daddy did.
“Do all the good you can,
by all the means you can,
in all the ways you can,
in all the places you can,
at all the times you can,
to all the people you can,
as long as ever you can.”
Sunday, April 4, 2021
Saturday, April 3, 2021
28 Years
28 years ago today,
I met you.
Because you’re no longer living,
the memory of you is bittersweet
but the memory of that April 3rd day
is pure sweetness.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Here are the links to posts I've written in the past about this date.
(2012)
https://jannasview.blogspot.com/2012/04/april-3-1993.html
(2013)
https://jannasview.blogspot.com/2013/04/20-years-april-3-1993.html
(2014)
https://jannasview.blogspot.com/2014/04/21-years-april-3-2014.html
(2015)
https://jannasview.blogspot.com/2015/04/22-years-april-3-1993.html
(2016)
https://jannasview.blogspot.com/2016/04/23-years-april-3-1993.html
(2020)
https://jannasview.blogspot.com/2020/04/april-3rd.html
https://jannasview.blogspot.com/2012/04/april-3-1993.html
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