April 3, 1993

19 years ago today, I met him. 

19 years ago today, I was wearing this outfit to go with Emilie to the Easter Drama, The Last Supper, at their church.  I had just turned 25 years old 4 days earlier. 

19 years ago today, I first laid eyes on Robert Edward Shelton.  And I immediately thought he was the most handsome man I'd ever seen. 

19 years ago today, he was dressed to portray the role of Judas.  I wish I had pictures.  He had a full beard.  He was barefooted.  I noticed he had hairy feet.  

19 years ago today, his church had praise and worship singing before the drama began.  

19 years ago today, he was playing his guitar in the praise band the first time I ever saw him. 

19 years ago today, he was bouncing up and down while playing his guitar - playing with such exuberance, praising our God.   

(May 1993)

19 years ago today, I watched him move about and heard him speak with such conviction during the drama as his character was betraying our Jesus - and I noticed the pain on his face as he threw the silver coins as he portrayed his character's guilt and remorse over that betrayal.  I admired how deeply he felt the pain.

19 years ago today, I watched as his character went off to die.   

19 years ago today, he changed clothes after the drama before coming out to meet me for the first time.  He changed into blue polyester golf pants and a golf shirt.  I still thought he was the most handsome man I'd ever seen.  

19 years ago today, we stood at the back of that church and talked as if no one else was even around.  It really was one of those magical, blessed moments that I somehow knew would change my world.  I could have stood there all night long drinking in all that I saw in his eyes.  He later told me the exact same thing - that he could have stood there all night "swimming in the blue of my eyes."  However, I was riding with Emilie and she had a young son to get into bed.  She had to come tell me it was time to go at least 2 times, maybe more. 

19 years ago today, I left my Rob's presence relunctantly but I felt a peace about him and somehow I  knew he would become part of my life.

(June 1993 - this was before it happened but this picture was taken on the day he proposed)

6 months ago, I watched as he - not a character he was portraying in a drama - lay dying.  I remember noticing, from the first moment that we found him unconscious, that there did not seem to be any pain showing on his face and I gave thanks for that then and now...

...but as I caught a glimpse of my face in the glass pane there in ICU and as I looked around at our children and our families and friends, I saw reflected the pain on all of our faces as we had to reluctantly let go of being in his presence.

19 years ago today, I came home from that Easter drama and thanked God for allowing me to meet

Robert Edward Shelton.

(August 1993 - in the Bahamas - on a one day cruise there and back)

Today, my prayer is the same. 

"Thank you God, that 19 years ago, I met my Rob.  I imagine him bouncing up and down praising You with such exuberance that it is magnified thousands and thousands of times since that time when I first saw him praising You 19 years ago.  I imagine him being free of all issues and only because I imagine him being in Your presence can I even begin to deal with the fact that he is not in mine. 

Thank you for that peace!"   

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*P.S.     "WOW." 

Our internet at the parsonage is out today and they said it will be out until sometime tomorrow so I came up to the church to publish this post.  I was proofreading it once more before I hit "publish."  I have had the radio on K-Love the entire time I've been here.  Just before I hit "publish," the song, "I Can Only Imagine" came on and it is playing as I type these words.  So, to add another prayer---

"Thank you God, for that reminder, that Rob is indeed "forever praising and worshipping You."