An October Day Always Remembered

Haven't had a lot of extra time for blogging lately.

So much going on.

But I didn't want the day to pass without remembering.

This is another repeat post

but it holds the same sentiment as last year.

I will never forget...

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Tuesday, October 29, 2013

October 29th

October 29th was a day Rob and I always observed.

It was Rob's middle brother's birthday.

His name was Eric Douglas and he was 5 years younger than Rob.

He died 3 weeks before he would have turned 21.

Way too soon.

Rob always remembered his brother on this day.

And, even though I never got the chance to know Eric, I always remembered too.

I still do.

And then in 1993, my good friends' baby boy died on October 29th.

Way too soon.

His name was Aaron Ross and he was the son of Cindy and Harold.

And, although I did get the chance to know Aaron Ross, it wasn't long enough.

Aaron was 18 days old.

Two lives...ended too soon.

I will never forget.

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I have updated the October 11, 2013 blog post I wrote about Aaron Ross on his birthday by adding some photos I got today from Aaron's grandmother.  Click here to go to that post. 

And They're Off...

...to a friend's party.

Love them so much!

25 Years Ago

Today marks 25 years since my Grandpa Caviness died.

I still miss him.

I wrote this post 2 years ago and it still holds true.

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Tuesday, October 23, 2012

23 Years

On October 23, 1989 – 23 years ago – my grandfather died.  

(My Grandpa Caviness and my cousin, Chris)



I was 21 years old.  I sang the song, "Consider The Lillies," at his funeral.  

These are the notes my Grandma Caviness sent me after the funeral.

Before his October 23rd death, my Grandpa Caviness had been in the hospital since August 31, 1989.  He was hooked up to a ventilator.  Although I was working an 8:30-5:30 full-time job in a different town from where I lived at the time and a different town from where he was hospitalized, I visited him often during those almost 2 months.  I crocheted a baby blanket for my yet-to-be-born cousin, Caleb, during the time spent in the ICU waiting room while I was waiting my turn to go in to see Grandpa.  

It has been 23 years and I distinctly remember the sound of the machine that breathed for him.  It has been 23 years and I distinctly remember the look on my Grandma Caviness’ face when she looked down at her husband in that hospital bed.  It has been 23 years and I distinctly remember the feeling in my heart when my Uncle Raymond asked Grandpa if he knew where his granddaughter, Janna, was in the room.  Grandpa Caviness, in answer, turned his head as much as he could and pointed at me where I was standing on the other side of the room from where Raymond was.  I was elated.  Even with all that was going on, he still knew me.  I had been recognized.  The fact that he knew where I was in the room, in that instant – in that moment, validated my very existence.  And, for a moment, it gave me some hope for his recovery. 

I now live in the house that was Grandpa Caviness’ home.  He and my great-grandfather built this house for his life with his new wife – my Grandma Caviness (click The House to see that post). There are times that the memories of him in and around this house are so strong that it feels as if he is here (and the same is true for memories of my Grandma Caviness as well).  I can just never get “his” corner of the living room to look exactly like I want it.  Maybe it’s because I still see him in that corner sitting in his chair reading the newspaper, playing solitaire, smoking his cigarette, or watching t.v.

  

I also have great memories of him outside – “helping” him drive the tractor, walking the chicken houses, moving hay around, swimming in his pond – especially the time he shot and killed the snake that was swimming with us in that pond, going to town with Grandma and Grandpa Caviness to get school supplies each summer, going to Brown’s store to get a soda.  I even remember one time when he took me out of church to spank me – I do NOT remember what I did but I’m sure I didn’t do it again.    

(My Grandpa Caviness and my cousin, Katie)

(My Grandpa Caviness and my cousin, Rebecca)

These are the photos I have from Grandpa's 75th birthday party at his house. September 1988.

It has been 23 years since my Grandpa Caviness died.  Over half of my life. 

And I still miss him so much.

It's A New Day

Today, I was cleaning out a container that got moved from our last parsonage to this house 

without its contents being sorted.

It was a container that was kept in every bathroom since the very first parsonage.

Its contents were sorted periodically through the years but not at all since Rob’s death.

2 things (well, technically 3) were in the container that made me catch my breath a little because of the memories attached to them…

2 pregnancy tests

and

1 mini Bible Study book on Mark with Rob’s handwriting in it

…but then they made me smile because of the memories attached to them.

Memories that I will get to carry and cherish for the rest of my life

(or until dementia sets in – whichever comes first J ).

But I also knew, when holding these objects, that they were just

another reminder that my life stage is now “a new day…”

…and I’m okay with that.

Rob and I always planned on having a 4^th baby.  Since Luke was born in 2002, we never tried to prevent pregnancy.  So I always kept pregnancy tests on hand.  I still think it’s interesting how all 3 of our babies’ conceptions were perfectly planned (Wesley was even planned around Crystol’s high school graduation).  But when we left it up to God, we couldn’t get pregnant.  I was always grateful and happy and felt blessed that I was able to have my 3 babies but it was so sad to not be able to conceive again.  At the time, we never really told anyone (most people thought we were crazy to have had the 3 on Rob’s salary) so we didn’t grieve out loud about it.  In fact, when my cousin announced she was pregnant at our Easter gathering, I had to go outside for a little bit.  I was SO happy for her but SO sad for us.  Rob came outside, found me in the car crying, and comforted me.  We never knew why we couldn’t conceive again.  The only possible answer we were given was that the doctors thought that the steroids Rob had to take just to breathe were probably the reason.  We came to terms with it and lived our life and enjoyed the children we had.  But we still didn’t prevent anything and I still kept the tests on hand.  

After Rob died, even though I would have loved to have had another child, 

I was thankful that I didn't have an even younger child than my then 8 year old Luke 

to lose his/her father. 

Today, the tests were a reminder of a time now gone by.

When Rob first became a pastor, he had a 2 church appointment.

He preached at the first church at 9:30 a.m. and the 2^nd at 11 a.m.

It was at the first church that he used the book I found today for the Bible Study on Mark.  I went with him to this daytime study so it must have been held during the summer because I was teaching school while we lived there – until Anna was born.  Rob had so much fun leading this study.  He was SO excited to be living what he told everyone was his dream – being a pastor!  

It was a fun time with him and with the group!

He told me that he intentionally kept this book in every bathroom (which was his favorite reading room – he had a bookshelf in every bathroom) to remind him of the excitement of his early days in the ministry.

Today, the Bible Study book on Mark was a reminder of a time now gone by.

2 pregnancy tests

and

1 mini Bible Study book on Mark with Rob’s handwriting in it

3 years ago, those objects would have reduced me to a total meltdown of emotions.

2 years ago, those objects would have made me scream that “it’s just not fair.”

1 year ago, those objects would have just made me sad.

But now,

today,

even though I have shed a tear or two while writing this,

those objects just remind me that

I am in a new life stage.

It is a new day…

and

again,

…I’m okay with that. 

Cynthia Lynn and Savannah Li

Repeat post from last year about our cousins who share a birthday

but the Happy Birthday wishes to Cindy and Savannah 

are new for this year! 

And I'm adding a few new photos.

Cynthia Lynn 

And one of my favorite photos that I've taken of Savannah Li!

Love you both!

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Wednesday, October 16, 2013

Happy Birthday Cynthia Lynn and Savannah Li!

We have 2 cousins with birthdays today.

Cynthia Lynn is my 2nd cousin.

Savannah Li is Rob's 1st cousin 

(although Savannah's mom was more like a sister than an aunt to Rob since she was a year younger than he was).

I remember the first time I saw each of them.

Cynthia Lynn was a newborn the first time I saw her in 1981 -
right after her parents brought her home from the hospital.  

I was SO EXCITED to meet her.

These are the photos from that day.

(Cindy's paternal grandparents - John and Gertrude)

And a few more from later.

Savannah Li was 10 months old the first time I saw her in 1998 -
right after her parents got off of the airplane from China with her.  

I was SO EXCITED to meet her.

These are the photos of that day.

Happy Birthday Cynthia Lynn!

I love you!  Always have. Always will.

Happy Birthday Savannah Li!

 I love you!  Always have.  Always will.

Happy Birthday Ben!

Happy 25th Birthday Benjamin Charles!  

I've been working hard this week to try and get your wedding photos 

edited and posted for today 

but it is now 8:40 p.m. and I am officially giving up!  

There is just no way I'm going to make it by midnight 

so I'm going to repost last year's birthday post!  

Sorry for the old post - 

working hard on a new one (or it may end up being 2 or 3 posts) - 

but you're so cute in the baby photos that I thought they were worth reposting!  

At least I know your mom will enjoy them again!  

Hope you've had a great birthday today!

I love you!

Always have!  Always will!

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Friday, October 11, 2013

Happy Birthday Benjamin Charles!

Today is Benjamin's birthday.  He is 24 today, is in his first year of law school at Carolina, and is happily engaged to Jenny but this is how I remember you best:

You were the first baby that I had the privilege to help spoil in the town where we were living.  And I loved it!  You were such a happy baby and toddler!

Since I did the post on your engagement in July and used a lot of your birth photos then, I'm just going to repost it at the end of this one but I thought I'd post some additional ones 

- from your first birthday party!

Emily, Ben, and Caleb

Always had to have a book handy for you...

I still remember buying this outfit for you!  I was so excited that I found an outfit that had that many basketballs on it!  You, obviously, preferred the toy you were playing with but at least your mom was happy with it!

  

And a few more photos, just because you're all so cute!

Happy Birthday Benjamin Charles!
I love you!  Always have.  Always will.

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What I posted on Friday, July 19, 2013

Great News for Benjamin and Jenny!

I found out some great news on Wednesday.  

Benjamin and Jenny are engaged to be married.

Benjamin is the oldest of 3 sons born to some of my very best friends, Cindy and Harold.  We have been friends since 1987.  I met them when they had only been married 3 years.  I was 19.  We've gone through a lot together over the last 26 years and that is an understatement.  I was so excited when they told me they were going to have a baby.  I was thrilled when Benjamin Charles finally arrived in October 1989.  

(Cindy, Harold, Janna, Benjamin, Jenny - July 4, 2012)

I'm not sure how long Ben and Jenny have been dating.  The first time I remember meeting Jenny was when Rob died.  I have liked her since the first moment I met her.  And I know that Jenny is a very regular reader of my blog so that makes me like her even more!  

I remember in great detail the night when I first met Benjamin Charles.  I went straight to the hospital after I got off of work and, of course, I have a photo of me holding Ben for the first time.  I also have a photo of Harold and Benjamin.  I honored Cindy's request for no photos of her that night.  Sort of wish I'd snapped one anyway : )

A friend of ours, Jody, visiting Ben for the first time.

As I was looking for these photos, it made me laugh at how organized my photos are from those years.  I had it labeled and dated and I even noted on this one that it was out of order.  Wow - how times change!  My children's photos are in boxes!

Again, this photo page is labeled!   

My cousin, Caleb, was born 4 months after Ben.  They were my little buddies and they were each other's little buddies as well.

(Benjamin and Caleb 1990)

(Caleb and Benjamin - July 4, 2012)

I loved my little Ben from the moment he was born!  And even though distance made it difficult for me to be a big part of his life after Rob's ministry moved us out of town when Ben was 10, my love for him did not change.  It only grew.  And even though he is taller than me now, he will always be my little Ben.

And I am thrilled that Benjamin Charles has found his soon-to-be bride!

For them, I pray for a happy and blessed engagement.
The anticipation of one's wedding day is one of life's sweet treasures.
The anticipation of the marriage (or at least it was for me) is even sweeter.

Congratulations Benjamin Charles and Jenny!