Prom 2018 (First Post)

Prom 2018

April 20, 2018

Luke's first one.

Wesley's last one.

Will post more later next week 

but wanted to get some posted on the day itself.

25 Years - April 16, 1993

25 years ago, 

on Friday, April 16, 1993, 

I went on my very first date with my Rob.

It was magical.

Such sweet memories.

25 years ago, I could already see a future with my Rob.

25 years ago, I could already see a family with his Crystol 

and my future children with my Rob.

25 years ago, I could already see a future ministry with him.

And I am so blessed that all of that did come to pass.

Today, 

in my present life, 

I am working with my Wesley on 

his high school graduation announcements 

and transferring money for Anna's security deposit 

for where she will live for her job

after her college graduation.

Life continues to move forward and I am so blessed.

But I will never forget those sweet, sweet memories.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This is what I wrote about this date 3 years ago in 2015.

Thursday, April 16, 2015

4-16-15

22 years ago right now, I was on my first date with my Rob.

22 years ago tonight, we had dinner at our mutual friends’ house.

22 years ago tonight, he walked in the door with photos of Crystol and, after saying hello, proceeded to “introduce” me to his daughter and tell me all about her. 

He made it clear from the beginning that she was his world.

22 years ago tonight, we played Pictionary with our friends after dinner.

22 years ago tonight, after the dinner and the game,

our friends had to get their children to bed

so we said our goodbyes

and walked out of their house.

Not wanting to end the evening,

but since it was 11 p.m.,

we got into my car to talk.

We talked in our friends’ driveway until 3:45 a.m.

If you know me at all,

I’m sure you’re not surprised

that we could talk that late into the night.

However, if you knew Rob at all,

you’d be surprised that

it was Rob that did almost all of the talking.

22 years ago tonight, he told me he was called to the ministry. 

He said he had no idea how he was going to make it happen

but that he was bound and determined to see it through.

(He later said he told me then so I would have a chance to run if I wanted to).

22 years ago tonight, he told me his life story, at least the outline of it.

I listened intently and hung on his every word.

22 years ago tonight, I waited for him to kiss me.

It didn’t happen.

I was disappointed.

But it certainly made it more special

when he did

FINALLY

kiss me when we were on our third date.

22 years ago tonight, I started falling in love

with the man I would marry 8 months later.

It was a wonderful night.

One that we ended in prayer –

with Rob asking God to guide us

in this relationship and show us how to proceed.

He did ask if he could hold my hand while we were praying.

Of course I said yes.

And after he finished praying, he didn’t let go of my hand.

He told me later that he kept trying to think of more things to say

just so he could keep holding my hand.

We talked for another hour.

Today was a long day

(which I may or may not write about later)

with it starting with me signing my name or initials and

today’s date at least 20 times.

So, over and over again this morning,

I had to write 4-16-15.

Only twice did I write 4-16-93.

And I didn’t shed a single tear

even though every single time I wrote the date,

a gentle little stab of pain coursed through my veins.

Although it was MUCH better than it

has been in previous years,

it’s still there.

The reality that it’s over rarely hits me hard anymore.

But the memory of the magic of that night

is one that is still so very bittersweet.

Since I can no longer celebrate that date with Rob,
I celebrated it with our sons.

Although they had no idea that’s why we went.

I will always remember all of our “times” and “dates”

and will probably continue to write about them

so that the ones I know are reading my blog

(especially one I talked with tonight)

can be encouraged that, as time goes by,

you will learn to live in the “simultaneous” world

of remembering the great times

(and sometimes maybe even falling apart at those memories)

but also living in your “now”

and going forward.

For me, I no longer feel the need to outwardly

make everything about what was.

Because my life is no longer in what was.

It is in what is.

My sons and I had a great time.

We went to a local place they had never been to before.

(Anna was at her college classes).

It’s a place that’s only open for lunch

and because of homeschooling

and caretaking of my parents

lunch has always been a hard time to get away.

But we made it today.

The food was delicious.

And the company was great!

Even if I did have to tell my boys to stop kicking each other a couple of times!

And I am thankful that,

up until the very end,

God answered Rob's prayer that he prayed 

on the night of our very first date.

God guided us up until the very end.

And He is still showing me how to proceed -

as the caretaker of our children,

and as the caretaker of my Rob's memory.

I am blessed.

Prayers

Please say some extra prayers for my friend, Danny.

He was taken to the hospital last night.

Still waiting on medical answers.

But God knows his need.

For those of you who do not know who Danny is, please click over to this blog post:

https://jannasview.blogspot.com/2018/03/i-turn-50-today.html

One Year

Rev. James William Caviness, Jr.

July 2, 1941 - April 5, 2017

One year ago today,

on Wednesday, April 5, 2017,

at 8:16 a.m. 

my daddy slipped peacefully away 

to his Jesus 

and to all of his treasures stored up in Heaven 

and to hear our God say, 

"Well done, thy good and faithful servant." 

I miss him.

This is what I said at his funeral last year.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A LIFE WELL LIVED AND A MINISTRY WELL SERVED.

HATE is not a strong enough word for how I feel about dementia.

LOVE is not a strong enough word for how I feel about my daddy.

But oh, how I’ve learned from them both.

I was blessed to have the best father in the world.

He was my hero.

He simply was the best man ever.

His strength tempered by his humanness taught me so much about how to live life

and ultimately, how to face death.

Today is truly a celebration of a life well lived and a ministry well served.

It is a good day for a good man

and he would want nothing less than for me to say, as he would have said,

“I’m thankful it’s as good as it is!”

So I will say it and you can say it with me!  “I am thankful it’s as good as it is.”

Because today, we can CELEBRATE a man, whose heart was so pure and big that, when the doctor was giving me the results of the last test done on his heart just hours before his death, she said that it was sort of like his heart was too strong because one part showed that it was “extra” thick because it was “bulked up by having been worked so hard like a body builder would work his arm muscle.”

I know she was giving me a medical explanation for how the blood flow was actually being constricted by this extra thickness but all I could think in that moment was 

how fittingly that described my father.

Here a doctor was, medically telling me that my daddy had a big and strong heart muscle.

Well, that was something I’ve known my entire lifetime.

And all I could think right then was how his heart was so big and extra strong because he spent his life with his heart getting bigger and bigger with all of the love he felt for everyone he came in contact with and his heart getting stronger and stronger because he spent his lifetime 

working his heart out as a

body of Christ builder

“bulking up” God’s Kingdom!

So what a CELEBRATION of LOVE today should be and is!

And my daddy sure did LOVE!

With unconditional patience and unconditional sacrifice,

my daddy LOVED!

My daddy loved his God – his precious Jesus.

Everything in his life pointed to his love for God.

And his goal in life was to point everyone he met to find this love for Jesus too!

One of my verses for the day that I have emailed to me daily yesterday said,

“God blesses those whose hearts are pure, for they shall see God.”

I can only imagine my daddy’s love and excitement as he saw God because 

I cannot imagine anyone in this world with more of a pure heart!

My daddy loved his Jackie and his children and his grandchildren.

He was married to his bride, Jackie Sue, for 54 years, 3 months, 1 week, and 5 days.

And in every one of those days, he spoiled her with every fiber of his being because he simply loved her unconditionally with every ounce of energy his heart could ever produce.  I’ve never seen such a pure love than I witnessed over the life of my parents’ marriage.         The day before he died, I promised him I would take care of his Jackie.  He looked at me and, in a lucid moment out of his dementia, replied, “Promise?” to which I said, “I promise!”  

His next words were, “Then leave me alone and let me die.”

He was father to 3 – my sister, Joan, my brother, Jamie, and me.  And he loved us.  He did everything within his power to do everything he ever thought we needed.  He even made us Easter baskets every year until we were well into our 40’s.  And he waited for all 3 of us to be at his side before he passed on to see his Jesus.  I joked with him once that the reason he and Mama named us all with “J’s” was so that we would all be in the same name family as Jesus – the “J” family.   Well, he waited for all of the “J” family to be together one last time as we all, Jimmie, Jackie, Joan, Jamie, and Janna, spent one last night together – one last slumber party sleeping and not sleeping in one room as we loved on him and watched him slip away to his reward.  As hard as it was, it was a blessed and sacred night that I will treasure in my memory for as long as ever I can.

And the grandchildren.  He spoiled them too!  He would push them on swings, play in sandboxes, play ball, and stop everything he was doing to go buy chocolate ice cream after he had only bought vanilla – just because one grandchild only liked chocolate!

My daddy loved his family and friends.

He was part of a big family and he married into a big family.  And he had a multitude of friends from childhood and all parts of his life.  He loved you all!  He would do whatever was needed for every single one of you and I don’t think any one of you ever doubted that!

And my daddy loved his church people, also known as his friends!

You, his church people, were his life’s work.

You were his calling.

You were his life’s blood that kept him going.

But more than all of that,

you were his friends!

And I think every one of you knew that.

As someone recently said to me,

“He could remember my middle brother’s wife’s father’s dog’s name!”

His great memory and attention and care for not only the salvation of his church people but also the daily lives of all of you also made him a friend to you.

He loved all of you dearly!

And thank you for loving him the same!

What a legacy of love we have to CELEBRATE and TREASURE in all that my father has taught us simply by living and by loving his Jesus and loving us all!

We would all do well to follow my daddy’s exemplary lifelong presentation of living out John Wesley’s Rule, which, by the way, he was already doing as a child and young man way before he knew what John Wesley’s Rule even was:

John Wesley’s Rule:

Do all the good you can,

By all the means you can,

In all the ways you can,

In all the places you can,

At all the times you can,

To all the people you can,

As long as ever you can.

I always knew my daddy was brilliant and strong, but as I watched death give way to victory over the last few days and hours of my daddy’s life, I gained an even greater respect for my daddy’s intellect, an even greater perspective on his strength tempered by his humanness, and I was simply in awe of how deeply ingrained the Word of God was into his spirit, heart, and mind – even in his state of dementia.

As I was grasping for anything that might comfort my daddy in his last 2 days, I was reading Scripture to him.  Not knowing if I would get a response or not, I asked him what he wanted to hear.  Without hesitation, he replied Psalm 28.  So, out of the Gideon Bible provided by the hospital b/c the one I brought with me was way too small print for me to see well, I read Psalm 28 not even knowing what it was (b/c I’m not my dad and I sure don’t have the entire Bible memorized!).  If I ever doubted my dad’s ability to know what Scripture was needed in a certain situation, 

that moment forever erased it all.

In the pain of his last days, my daddy would raise his hands and say, “I need help.”

The Scripture he requested in his last 2 days is printed on the back of your bulletin.

I will read 4 of the verses:  Psalm 28: 2, 6, 7, and 8

Hear the voice of my pleas for mercy, when I cry to you for help,

when I lift up my hands toward your most holy sanctuary.

Blessed be the LORD! For He has heard the voice of my pleas for mercy.

The LORD is my strength and my shield; in Him my heart trusts, and I am helped;

my heart exults, and with my song I give thanks to Him.

The LORD is the strength of His people;

He is the saving refuge of His anointed.

I was a witness to how God answered my dad’s pleas.

As my daddy got closer to meeting his Jesus and not too long after my mama had arrived to the hospital, my daddy sat up and in his strength tempered by his humanness, he said,

“I don’t have the knowledge to know how to do this.”

To which I immediately replied, “Oh yes you do, Daddy.  You’ve been preaching it your entire lifetime!  You know exactly what to do, how to do it, and where to go and you just keep doing it.  You are doing a great job!  You just keep going to where you know to go.  You are the best man ever and you can do this.  Just keep going, Daddy, just keep going.”

A little while later, he sat back up and said, “Lord, I need your help – just one more time. 
Just one more time, Lord, I need your help.”

A little while later, he sat back up and said, “I’m SO EXCITED! I’m SO EXCITED!”

My personal belief, as I heard my daddy say those words, is that he was getting a glimpse of heaven and what was in store for him in the next hours.  Maybe he was even responding to hearing our God say, “Well done, thy good and faithful servant.  Well done.”

Lastly, I feel sure that my daddy would want nothing less today than for me to tell you that 

he would want you to someday know that excitement too!

In your bulletin, you should find a piece of paper with my daddy’s handwriting on it.  

It is something he made for a revival he preached for my late husband at one of our churches 

over 20 years ago.  I came across it 5 or so years ago and held onto it just for today.

Just as God rescued my daddy from his pain, God can rescue you too!

Whether you need to know more about asking Jesus Christ to be your Lord and Savior for the very first time or whether you just want encouragement in the things of the Lord, today is your chance!

If you have a need, please fill in my daddy’s paper and give it to one of the Preacher Davids right behind me after the service, to your preacher, or to me and I will find who you need.

I have no doubt that God was near my daddy as he called out to Him.

I have no doubt that God is near to you today and wants to be even closer.

All you have to do is ask.

I Turn 50 Today

I am 50 years old today.

I wrote the following blog post a little over 3 years ago 

and I could think of nothing better to post today on my actual 50th birthday.

And, as you read it, please pray for Danny again.

He got his first miracle 3 years ago when his cancer went into remission.

3 more years with his family.

3 more years to love and be loved.

But now the cancer's back

and he needs another miracle.

Please pray for many more years for him.

Life is a gift.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The following was written on:

Sunday, March 15, 2015

Turning 50

I am not 50 yet but I am getting closer.

Rob would have turned 56 in January.

I remember when he turned 50.

It was a celebration for us.

He had been pretty sick once or twice that year

and we had a “scare” that he wouldn’t make it to 50.

But he did.

He made it all the way to 52 years and 8 months exactly.

My birthday is a couple of weeks away

I will be 47.

It is not something I dread.

I am aware that I am getting older.

I am aware that I will be one step closer to 50.

But it truly just does not bother me.

Getting older just means that I am still alive.

I

am

still

living.

And that,

in and of itself,

is a gift.

A gift.

LIFE.

It is a gift.

A delicate gift.

A gift to be enjoyed

and well-lived

but not to be taken for granted

or taken lightly.

I learned that so well on the day that my Rob’s life on earth

hung between the balance of life and death.

That line between life and death.

It’s such a very thin line…

…something I never really understood until that day.

It truly was as if I was peering through that very, very thin veil…

So this gift of life I have on this Earth.

I am so incredibly grateful for it!

I am grateful for new mercies each morning!

I am grateful I am here for my children!

I am grateful that, every day, I am closer to 50!

I am grateful for the

strength,

mercy,

and grace

God has given me to live the life I am living!

For me,

as it is for most,

my life has been about

joy and sadness;

gaining and losing;

giving and receiving;

giving birth and covering graves;

many, many tears

and many, many smiles!

And, before I totally paraphrase Ecclesiastes 3, let me get to the point of this post.

I know someone who is turning 50 today.

And I am asking for prayer for that person.

This person is a good friend of mine.

He is married and they have 2 very young children.

Sons who are aged 6 and 8.

And this week,

this friend of mine,

whom I have known for almost 28 years,

was diagnosed with lung cancer.

Although I would love to say that I cannot imagine

a father being taken from his children before

they are old enough to truly internalize and embed

their father onto their hearts and into their minds,

well,

I just cannot say that.

I can not only imagine it.

I lived it.

It happened to my children.

Our girls (who were 29 and 15 when their dad died) remember their dad very well.

Our almost 15 year old son (who was 11 when his dad died)

remembers his dad pretty well but he described it to me the other day like this:

“When I think of my dad, it’s like he was a favorite character

in a great TV show

that doesn’t play anymore.”

Our 12 year old son (who was 8 when his dad died) tells me often that he’s

“sad I cannot remember my dad on my own” (without prompts or photos).

So, unfortunately, I can certainly imagine it.

And I NEVER want to imagine it for anyone else’s family.

I SO MUCH WANT THEIR STORY TO END DIFFERENTLY THAN OURS!

Which is why I’m asking you guys for prayer!

Prayer for complete healing.

Prayer for restoration.

Prayer for the correct treatment plan.

Prayer for his wife and sons.

Prayer for healing.

Prayer for healing.

Prayer for healing.

His first name is Danny.

(He gave me his permission to share his name).

And after you pray for Danny,

please be sure to hug those you love.

Life can be short.

And what I’ve learned in my almost 47 years about that is 

that, even when God blesses you with many years on Earth,

life is STILL too short

to not let those you love know it

AND feel it!

So, taking my own advice before I even wrote it,

I called Danny today

and sang Happy Birthday to him!

I also told him that I know he’s had better birthdays

but it’s still his 50^th birthday

and I’m glad he got to celebrate it

with his wife, sons, and all

of the family who visited!

He laughed and answered,

“That’s right and I am blessed.”

LIFE.

It’s worth celebrating!

Happy Birthday Daniel!

______________________________________________________-

Written 3 years ago in March 2015