Fifty-Four

He would have been 54 today.

I was married to Rob for 18 of his 52 birthdays.  I have photos from every single one of them.  And as I've looked at them to decide what to put on the blog, it was great to re-live those moments.

On the pictures from the first birthday I spent with Rob, I noticed the Duke Divinity School video in the background.  This was when he was preparing to prove to Duke that he should be accepted and the video was about the process.  He was accepted and graduated with lots of gratitude.

18 days into our marriage, this was the first birthday I spent with my Rob.  Caleb (my first cousin who had his own room at my house) had made him a cake and colored a coffee cup for him.  Rob and I both had to work that day so I bought him a birthday cookie. 

Then there was 1999 when I gave him a 40th birthday party and inivited his churches and all of our family and friends.  We had almost 200 people there.

There was his 50th (which was on a Sunday).  The church he was serving gave him a covered dish party after church.

And then there was the last birthday we spent together before his death.  We went to the beach with Jamie, Sally, Jay, Sarah, and Kaylee to celebrate.  We had a great time!

And there was SO MUCH LIVING for us in between that first and last birthday.

Birthdays are about celebration of LIFE.  That is what I'm trying to do.  I am trying my best to celebrate the life our God gave to my Rob.  I am working hard to make sure the children know what his life meant to so many people.  I am trying to honor the marriage we had and the life we had together while at the same time, I do feel single again.  I am celebrating the father he was to his four children and his influence on them while at the same time knowing that I am a single mother.  

I do not know what my future holds.  But as I've looked through these photos, I know I've had a great past. And although I am not spending my time LIVING in the past, there are still so many days that I'm sad that it IS the PAST.  A part of me is gone and I don't think that will ever change.  But on most days, I can remember that I enjoyed many wonderful seasons of life with my Rob and I can smile.

For all of those seasons and for all of those memories, I will always be grateful and I will forever feel blessed.

And now today, on what would have been his 54th birthday, I can smile as I know he is spending his second birthday with Jesus.  There's just no thing better that I could wish for him.

Conversation Between my Sons

There are so many things that my children say that I want to remember.  I've written many of them down and many of them I have forgotten.

I just wanted to make sure I don't forget this one.

It shows I'm training my boys right and at least one of them has already caught on that a happy mama makes for a happier world for him!

Last Sunday morning while getting ready for church.  Wesley had already finished brushing his teeth.  Luke had just finished brushing his.  Wesley went back into the bathroom to brush his hair.  This is the conversation I overheard then...

Wesley:  "Luke, clean all of your toothpaste crud out of the sink."

Luke: "Why do you care?"

Wesley: "I don't care but Mama does and what matters to Mama matters to me so clean it up."

: )   

  

Days Gone By - Ben, Joseph, and Caleb

I came across these photos the other day and they made me smile and remember the "good ole days."

Some of them before I knew Rob and some after.

And because I know the girlfriend of one of these boys reads my blog regularly and the parents of two of them read it as well, I thought I'd share my "good ole days" on the blog and make them smile too!

(Brothers - Ben and Joseph)

Wonder if this one was a hug or a choke hold!  : )  

(Brothers- Ben and Joseph - and my first cousin, Caleb - who had his own room at my house)

Notice that no matter how much fun he was having, Ben would not put down what he was reading.  He has ALWAYS loved books!  He is in law school now.

Hi

There are so many blog posts written in my head.

Finding time to get them (and accompanying pictures) to the computer is the difficult thing.

But just wanted you all to know we are alive and mostly well and living life.

To the best of all of our abilities and our life circumstances.

In the last month or so, we have been 

to Washington, DC to take part in the Wreaths Across America program at Arlington National Cemetery; 

to Myrtle Beach, SC for a surprise 70th birthday party for my dad's brother; 

and to Boone, NC for a ski trip.

We've had Christmas plays, Anna's wonderful solo, my mom and dad's 50th wedding anniversary on Christmas Eve, Christmas Eve Communion at church, Christmas Day, my annual New Year's Eve "potato party," and New Year's Day.  

We've had many sleepovers with cousins and friends and many Christmas break visitors.  

And Crystol and Alan visited this past week.

I have so many pictures from the last 6 weeks or so that it is ridiculous.

And as I look at those pictures I can clearly see that life really is good.

At least most of the time...

(Please say a prayer for my dad.  He's got some issues going on right now).