Pain

I have never known worse pain

than 

watching 

my 

children 

hurt.

Whether it be physical

-like skinned knees,

broken arms,

surgeries,

viruses,

or the flu...

Whether it be a plethora of other categories

from financial 

to angst over a career path

to discerning a calling

to accepting a new job or not

to not being chosen for something...

Whether it be a very abnormal life event

for their ages

like watching their daddy die,

"playing" legos with him in his casket,

and standing bravely while he is being buried 

as everything in life had just changed...

Whether it be a very normal life event

like a flat tire that causes a missed opportunity,

a bad grade,

not being accepted into a group,

a very broken heart,

or the last bit of hope over a situation 

that has faded away...

Or whether it's the pain

that sometimes comes

even with a good change...

...it all hurts.

Parenting is not easy.

Being an only parent is even more difficult.

But I wouldn't trade one single moment of it.

I will always do everything within my power 

to support them. I hope and pray that their joys 

always outweigh their sorrows.

And I pray they all know that, 

until I breathe my last breath,

 I am always here for all four of them.

To listen.

To give blunt advice if asked

(and sometimes when not asked).

To sometimes say, 

"I just don't know 

because that has to be your decision."

I so much want to spare them pain.

In so many cases, however,

there's just nothing I can do but be there.

Life has to be lived by the one living it.

And pain has to be processed by the one hurting.

But I pray.

Specific prayers and general prayers.

One prayer that covers it all is the following. 

It is printed out and stays on my dresser

so I can pray it every single morning.

It is from the Common Book of Prayer #51. 

It is a prayer for a birthday 

but I use it for a daily prayer for my children 

(and my family members).

(For those who read this blog in text only and can't see the photo, here is the text of the prayer).

"Watch over thy children, O Lord, as their days increase; 

bless and guide them wherever they may be; 

strengthen them when they stand; 

comfort them when discouraged or sorrowful; 

raise them up if they fall; 

and in their hearts, 

may thy peace, 

which passes understanding, 

abide all the days of their lives." 

As I pray this prayer, 

I always remember that 

God loves my children

even more than I do.

And I am thankful that we are all

enveloped in the arms of God

- in good times and bad.